1) Contrary to popular belief, I haven't been abducted by aliens, nor have I joined the circus. I haven't updated because I haven't really done anything lately. I know that your lives don't revolve around my blog updates, so I'm sure you guys haven't been too worried! :)
2) I had to do another round of antibiotics for the evil, apparently drug resistant, strain of pneumonia I had, and that was a lot of fun. I think I've finally, finally, honest-to-goodness kicked the bug. I'm still really tired and have wicked hot flashes, but my chest doesn't hurt anymore! I can go back to licking complete strangers without worrying that I'm giving them a disease. :) It's been frustrating, because I've been too sick to do anything except for the simplest things. I could eat, I could get the mail, and unfortunately, I could gain lots of weight because of the not being able to do anything and the excessive steroids I took for a month. So yeah...that sucks. At least I'm better. At one point, in an attempt to clear my lungs, I took a dose of Mucinex. I mean, if it can get rid of whole families of anthropomorphous phlegm blobs, why not? I...don't recommend it. It felt like a swallowed a lit sparkler. I'm not saying it's bad medicine, and I'm not saying it doesn't work for other people, but yikes. Molten lava, in my body. Itchy, molten lava.
3) Speaking of my lungs (and endlessly fascinating subject, I'm sure) I had another trip to the sleep doctor today. Guess who has two thumbs and gets to go back and do another sleep study tomorrow night? Yuck. The doctor told me that they didn't really know what to do for me because of the things they found out after my last sleep study. He said that I have partial obstructive sleep apnea, meaning that the flappy bit in the back of my throat obstructs my breathing. If I could lose a lot of weight, that might go away. However, part of the reason I have so much trouble losing weight is because of my sleeping trouble (I didn't realize that was even a thing until recently.) So...catch 22. That sucks, of course, but the bigger problem is that I also have something called central sleep apnea, which means my brain has spells where it doesn't tell my body to breathe. This even happens when I'm awake, and it means I have a short circuit somewhere. It can also mean I have brain damage or heart trouble, and...it could eventually kill me if we can't get it under some kind of control. Nice, right? He told me they'd try another kind of breathing machine, which is why I have to go back for another sleep study. I hate those things, but I agreed because the other alternative is undergoing surgery to open my throat and reset my jaw and that would only help partially. I hope that it a last ditch thing, though, because it sounds unpleasant.
4) Did you know I have a cat now? Well, sort of. This is Macaroons:
Of course, in all honesty, this really isn't my cat, but I think he (or she) thinks it lives here. My whole relationship with this cat began innocently, much like how Garry and Spot used to occasionally come over and make me think they were homeless so I'd feed them. Same thing here, only unlike Garry and Spot, I still don't know if this cat has a home. I don't really know if I even like this cat. He's dirty, he's greedy, he isn't really affectionate, and he feels like an old wig. The dumb thing keeps getting into the house, and I have to force him out. He taunts my dogs and has caused Butler to almost jump through a window to try and get at him. He pukes on my stoop if we don't feed him, and he lies down behind our cars in the driveway when we try and leave. He meows at the door if he thinks it's time to feed him, and he has fights with other cats that come by. It's like I'm in the debt of the mob and Macaroons is the guy hanging around to make sure I don't forget I owe the boss something. I feel sorry for him, or I wouldn't feed him, but I don't want to take responsibility for this animal. If I were 100% sure he didn't have an owner instead of just 90%, I'd take him to the no-kill shelter just so I'd be sure he was at least getting shots and whatnot. However, there are days he isn't hanging around on my stoop all day, and that's just enough doubt about him not to want to send some old lady's cat to animal control. Stupid cat.
5) The other day, while I was busy putting away groceries, Steve came over and handed me a credit card to put into my purse so that he wouldn't forget to give it to me. Since I was busy, I promptly forgot about it and went on with my business. After about 30 minutes, the realization that I didn't know what I had done with the card flashed into my head. I got frantic, because honestly, who wants to lose a credit card? Steve and I combed the whole house, I had to pick through the garbage, we looked in the freezer, the hamper, the bathrooms, and everywhere else we could think of to no avail. I was near tears because I felt so stupid. I'd had it in my hands, and now it was just gone. I was standing in the kitchen, berating myself for my stupidity, when I suddenly remembered that I'd stuck the card into my bra so that I wouldn't lose it. It had been in there the whole time. :/
6)ALAN! ALAN! ALAN! AL! ALAN!