Thursday, May 11, 2017


Y'all, I have been having the weirdest, most vivid dreams for the past week.  I haven't been eating chocolate before going to bed or anything like that, so I'm not sure where these dreams are coming from.  I'm constantly being woken up by weird ass dreams these days.

One was disturbing, and I don't want to describe it because it was too scary, but it has stuck with me because it didn't feel like anything I'd normally dream.  It was very political and linear and made too much sense, so it was like I was inside someone elses head and that has bothered me all week. It was like having a movie of the week beamed into my head.

In one I was invited to go on this big bicycle trip with dozens of people. I didn't know anyone who was going, but I thought it sounded fun, so I agreed.  Since I didn't have any gear, they were going to loan me what I needed.  We walked to the start or the trip and they gave me a bike, but it didn't have any handlebars. I looked up to tell someone and they were all gone! The bastards had left me on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere! I had to McGyver some handlebars out of a stick so I could get back to the closest convenience store, and it turned out that the cyclists had trashed the place before they left so I couldn't even call anyone to come and get me. I think I may have a latent distrust of people who wear that much Spandex.

Last night I dreamed I was acting as a sort of ambassador for a group of people from Norway. I don't know how I got involved in this thing, but I had to be driven way up into some mountains to meet them. When I got there, I found out that the group of people weren't people.  They were octopi.  A huge group of pale, white octopi from Norway.  Not only that, but when I got out of the car, one of them suddenly flew through the air and latched themselves onto my face and around my body.  So an Albino Norwegian Cephalopod Facehugging Creature tried to eat me, or hug me. I have no idea. That's when I decided that I didn't want to be asleep anymore and woke up.

Sleeping is overrated anyway. I don't think I'm going to do it anymore.

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