I know this isn't really something that warrants an entire blog entry, but I'm going to tell you anyway, because I thought it was funny and for just a second, I thought I was going to die.
I got cold. I suppose it was the ice in my drink that did it, but I got really frigging cold while sitting at my desk and couldn't get warm. I decided that I was going to do some laps around the lobby of the church to warm up a bit, which I did. It's a boring thing to keep walking in circles, so I decided to take a turn down the classroom hallway for a change of scenery. At the end of that hallway is a room that looks like a living room, and when I got into that and turned around, I saw a body lying on one of the couches. It was covered from head to ankles with a blanket and it wasn't moving.
Look, I'm always terrified I'm going to find a body in our church that isn't supposed to be there, either alive or dead. That sounds crazy, but I was just told that last year a homeless man got into our church and tried to stay overnight, and was only found before we locked the doors because the security guy didn't see him come out at the end of services. So, yeah, people get into our church sometimes and personally, I don't want to be the one to roll up on them. So I did the only thing I could think of: I silently screamed and took off down the hallway.
Y'all, I am not a good runner in the best of times, wearing workout clothes and shoes specifically designed for running, but damn it if I didn't Usain Bolt my flowery dress and dress shoe wearing ass down the hall and into the pastor's office. I just knew there was going to be an issue and that I may be called upon to defend myself with hornet spray and my baseball bat and I was NOT ready for that. Only, when I got there, the pastor wasn't there.
As it turned out, the pastor was the person asleep (thankfully) on the couch in that room. He had gotten cold as well and went down there to cover up for a few minutes and he dozed off. So I was running through the church like a crazy person, ready to lock myself in a closet and wait until everyone else in the building was dead so that I could make my escape, and all it was was my boss taking a nap in a weird place. I almost wet my pants. At least I got a good laugh out of it!
I sincerely hope that I am never in a situation with an intruder, because if today is any indication, I'm going to end up being the woman running up the stairs instead of out the back door. This was not my finest moment, but it sure turned out to be a funny one!
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Saturday, April 21, 2018
HARRUMPH
I've written, like, three different things here and nothing was worth saving. I could have just deleted everything and not published anything, but damnit, I came here to write a thing. It isn't my fault that nothing interesting came of it!
Sorry. I'm alone and bored and my friends live in different states than I do and I don't have time before church tomorrow to drive to see either of them because Indiana and Georgia are too far for impromptu drives. Eh, well. I don't mean to complain, I'm just restless. Everything will revert back to normal tomorrow, everyone will be home, another week will start, and that is just full of possibilities, isn't it?
Anyway...I hope your day was marvelous, whatever it consisted of! :)
PS: I found out that I might be slightly allergic to cayenne pepper. What a weird thing to be allergic to.
Sorry. I'm alone and bored and my friends live in different states than I do and I don't have time before church tomorrow to drive to see either of them because Indiana and Georgia are too far for impromptu drives. Eh, well. I don't mean to complain, I'm just restless. Everything will revert back to normal tomorrow, everyone will be home, another week will start, and that is just full of possibilities, isn't it?
Anyway...I hope your day was marvelous, whatever it consisted of! :)
PS: I found out that I might be slightly allergic to cayenne pepper. What a weird thing to be allergic to.
Friday, April 20, 2018
RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) Steve got offered a job in Charleston! But in "of course he did" news, he turned it down without even considering it. However, for one, bright, shining moment in my head, I had bought one of those cool old houses and was going to be near the coast, and have the ability to walk anywhere I needed to go, be in easy distance of some amazing food and work in one of the many museums out there. That part was fun.
But Huntsville is good too. I know people here.
2) I got a strange opportunity a couple of weeks ago from a cosmetic subscription service that found me on Instagram. They were looking for "influencers" for their brand and they thought I was sassy, or some such thing. At first I thought...WTF? I mean, you know me (I guess you do, anyway) and you know that I'm 40 years old and maybe not the most attractive lady out there, I only have a very few people who follow me, and generally most of them don't pay much attention to anything I post. If you've ever seen most of the IG influencers, they are usually very young, very pretty, and have a LOT of followers watching what they do. Maybe this company was going in a different direction, I dunno, but for them to reach out to me was kind of hilarious. At first, I wasn't going to do it, because of everything I just mentioned, but the more I thought about it, the funnier I thought it would be if I did it. Seriously, can you imagine me shilling for something like that? So I asked some questions and agreed to do it. Why not, right? I'm not a Kardashian (OMG, I spelled that wrong and auto-correct fixed it for me.) but maybe I could have some fun with it.
HOWEVER...I did some looking around at different people who are considered "Influencers" for things online just to see how it worked, and...well, ultimately I just realized I didn't want to be that guy. I mean, sure putting on makeup is fun, and taking pictures of it is fine, but I didn't want to be the person who is constantly hash tagging everything on my face and talking about how awesome this or that is because I get benefits from it. I know people like that and they annoy me. The company was going to pay me, but only if people I knew bought this service, and it was such a low payment that it was really not worth it unless I somehow gathered tons of new followers and they all paid however much for the thing. Ultimately I felt like it wouldn't be a thing I'd enjoy doing and I'm almost 100% certain none of my friends who follow me on those apps would have enjoyed it either.
There is only one thing that kind of bothers me, though, and that is that I tend to get excited about this kind of thing, tell people I'm going to do it, and then decide it isn't for me in the long run so it seems like I just flaked. I feel like I punk out on things too much. Granted, in this case, it wasn't because I got nervous about it, or thought that I couldn't do it, but still, I feel kind of like I failed at some new opportunity I was offered by not following through, but I really, really didn't want to have to take pictures of my face all of the time and push discount codes (link in bio!) on people who have very little interest in cosmetics. It just wasn't for me. Still, though, I wish I didn't not do things so much. It's not like I get a whole lot of offers!
Anyway, if you are a friend of mine on any of the social media apps, don't worry, you don't have to see my eyeliner 12 times a week! :)
3) OK, I know this is going to fall into "Kelly hears Robots" territory (and screw you guys, I totally did hear robots no matter what you think) but I'm fairly certain that someone tried spying on our house with a drone the other night.
To the left foot of our bed we have window that faces our neighbors house. Where it is located, at night we get some light from the street lamp in front of our house, but it's partially blocked by something, so about a 1/4 of our window has light while the rest is dark. The other night I was in bed, and I noticed that a light was flashing in the corner of the window that is usually dark. It was flashing somewhat slowly, but consistently. At first I thought maybe the wind was blowing and a branch was moving out of the way to let more light in, but that couldn't be it because the closest tree to our window isn't blocking the light. Also, we have very deep eaves on the side of our house, so the corner of that window is in shadow all day except for about an hour after the sun rises. I lay there and watched the light blink for a few minutes and asked Steve "What is that?" He didn't know, but almost immediately the light stopped blinking and didn't come back. So the only reasonable idea we could come up with is that someone was flying a drone near the top of our window and could hear us talking. I even went outside and checked the next day, and the top of our window is too high for anything NOT flying to get to, unless whatever it was had a ladder. So either Roof Critter is a robot or someone was up to shenanigans with a drone. Bless their hearts for finding such a boring place to spy. Heh.
No, I'm serious, it totally happened.
4) Ya know...I've lost some weight. Not the 60 pounds that I was told I would, but more than just a couple of pounds. So...when people who haven't seen me in a while look at me, they always say "I can tell you've lost weight. How much have you lost?" Without fail, when I tell them, they always say "I can really tell it in your face." I never know how to respond.
Honestly, tell me, how damn fat was my face before?
But Huntsville is good too. I know people here.
2) I got a strange opportunity a couple of weeks ago from a cosmetic subscription service that found me on Instagram. They were looking for "influencers" for their brand and they thought I was sassy, or some such thing. At first I thought...WTF? I mean, you know me (I guess you do, anyway) and you know that I'm 40 years old and maybe not the most attractive lady out there, I only have a very few people who follow me, and generally most of them don't pay much attention to anything I post. If you've ever seen most of the IG influencers, they are usually very young, very pretty, and have a LOT of followers watching what they do. Maybe this company was going in a different direction, I dunno, but for them to reach out to me was kind of hilarious. At first, I wasn't going to do it, because of everything I just mentioned, but the more I thought about it, the funnier I thought it would be if I did it. Seriously, can you imagine me shilling for something like that? So I asked some questions and agreed to do it. Why not, right? I'm not a Kardashian (OMG, I spelled that wrong and auto-correct fixed it for me.) but maybe I could have some fun with it.
HOWEVER...I did some looking around at different people who are considered "Influencers" for things online just to see how it worked, and...well, ultimately I just realized I didn't want to be that guy. I mean, sure putting on makeup is fun, and taking pictures of it is fine, but I didn't want to be the person who is constantly hash tagging everything on my face and talking about how awesome this or that is because I get benefits from it. I know people like that and they annoy me. The company was going to pay me, but only if people I knew bought this service, and it was such a low payment that it was really not worth it unless I somehow gathered tons of new followers and they all paid however much for the thing. Ultimately I felt like it wouldn't be a thing I'd enjoy doing and I'm almost 100% certain none of my friends who follow me on those apps would have enjoyed it either.
There is only one thing that kind of bothers me, though, and that is that I tend to get excited about this kind of thing, tell people I'm going to do it, and then decide it isn't for me in the long run so it seems like I just flaked. I feel like I punk out on things too much. Granted, in this case, it wasn't because I got nervous about it, or thought that I couldn't do it, but still, I feel kind of like I failed at some new opportunity I was offered by not following through, but I really, really didn't want to have to take pictures of my face all of the time and push discount codes (link in bio!) on people who have very little interest in cosmetics. It just wasn't for me. Still, though, I wish I didn't not do things so much. It's not like I get a whole lot of offers!
Anyway, if you are a friend of mine on any of the social media apps, don't worry, you don't have to see my eyeliner 12 times a week! :)
3) OK, I know this is going to fall into "Kelly hears Robots" territory (and screw you guys, I totally did hear robots no matter what you think) but I'm fairly certain that someone tried spying on our house with a drone the other night.
To the left foot of our bed we have window that faces our neighbors house. Where it is located, at night we get some light from the street lamp in front of our house, but it's partially blocked by something, so about a 1/4 of our window has light while the rest is dark. The other night I was in bed, and I noticed that a light was flashing in the corner of the window that is usually dark. It was flashing somewhat slowly, but consistently. At first I thought maybe the wind was blowing and a branch was moving out of the way to let more light in, but that couldn't be it because the closest tree to our window isn't blocking the light. Also, we have very deep eaves on the side of our house, so the corner of that window is in shadow all day except for about an hour after the sun rises. I lay there and watched the light blink for a few minutes and asked Steve "What is that?" He didn't know, but almost immediately the light stopped blinking and didn't come back. So the only reasonable idea we could come up with is that someone was flying a drone near the top of our window and could hear us talking. I even went outside and checked the next day, and the top of our window is too high for anything NOT flying to get to, unless whatever it was had a ladder. So either Roof Critter is a robot or someone was up to shenanigans with a drone. Bless their hearts for finding such a boring place to spy. Heh.
No, I'm serious, it totally happened.
4) Ya know...I've lost some weight. Not the 60 pounds that I was told I would, but more than just a couple of pounds. So...when people who haven't seen me in a while look at me, they always say "I can tell you've lost weight. How much have you lost?" Without fail, when I tell them, they always say "I can really tell it in your face." I never know how to respond.
Honestly, tell me, how damn fat was my face before?
Monday, April 09, 2018
A MEMORY
I may have written about this before. I don't remember. Leave me alone, I'm an old woman!
I remember watching a movie, or maybe a TV show (I'm not sure) about a woman who lived in an apartment building where a new tenant had just moved in upstairs from her. The new guy was an artist, and he fell in love with the woman, but the woman just thought of him as a friend at first.
She invited him over for dinner one night and they sat and talked all night until she fell asleep. When she woke up the next morning, she realized how much she liked the guy and went upstairs to talk to him, only to find out his apartment was empty and all of his paintings were gone. The landlord was showing potential tenants the place and he couldn't tell her anything about the guy who had lived there.
The lady didn't have any proof that the artist-man had ever lived there, so she thought maybe she had imagined him until one day she was coming home from work and she passed an art gallery with a big painting of herself sleeping, wearing the dress she had worn the night they'd had dinner (which sounds creepy, but it was a nice painting and not weird) with the guy's name in the corner. It had been sold, and the gallery was closed, so she couldn't go in and ask anyone about it. She just smiled and went home.
I really don't know the point of the movie (show?) and I know that sounds like a creepy thing to happen, especially looking through the lens of modern thought, but I always thought that was the most romantic thing ever. That someone would think she was so beautiful and that he loved her enough to create art based on her. I know that sounds sappy, and you'll just have to give me a break because I am not very sappy about many things these days, but to my little girl self, that was just the best thing I could imagine. I always wished that someone would like me enough to do something like that. Granted, I have never looked like that lady from the movie, but still...I always thought that would be nice.
What is very ironic (at least I think it's ironic. Darn you, Alanis!) is that I married a man who doesn't even like to take pictures, much less make art, so I doubt there will be anything inspired by me on anyone's walls! That's not a slight against him or anything, I promise, I just think it's funny. Life is weird that way sometimes.
So anyway, what I'm saying is that if you (whoever you are. I don't know who reads this!) love someone, I hope they inspire you to do great things. If they do, then do those things for them.
I remember watching a movie, or maybe a TV show (I'm not sure) about a woman who lived in an apartment building where a new tenant had just moved in upstairs from her. The new guy was an artist, and he fell in love with the woman, but the woman just thought of him as a friend at first.
She invited him over for dinner one night and they sat and talked all night until she fell asleep. When she woke up the next morning, she realized how much she liked the guy and went upstairs to talk to him, only to find out his apartment was empty and all of his paintings were gone. The landlord was showing potential tenants the place and he couldn't tell her anything about the guy who had lived there.
The lady didn't have any proof that the artist-man had ever lived there, so she thought maybe she had imagined him until one day she was coming home from work and she passed an art gallery with a big painting of herself sleeping, wearing the dress she had worn the night they'd had dinner (which sounds creepy, but it was a nice painting and not weird) with the guy's name in the corner. It had been sold, and the gallery was closed, so she couldn't go in and ask anyone about it. She just smiled and went home.
I really don't know the point of the movie (show?) and I know that sounds like a creepy thing to happen, especially looking through the lens of modern thought, but I always thought that was the most romantic thing ever. That someone would think she was so beautiful and that he loved her enough to create art based on her. I know that sounds sappy, and you'll just have to give me a break because I am not very sappy about many things these days, but to my little girl self, that was just the best thing I could imagine. I always wished that someone would like me enough to do something like that. Granted, I have never looked like that lady from the movie, but still...I always thought that would be nice.
What is very ironic (at least I think it's ironic. Darn you, Alanis!) is that I married a man who doesn't even like to take pictures, much less make art, so I doubt there will be anything inspired by me on anyone's walls! That's not a slight against him or anything, I promise, I just think it's funny. Life is weird that way sometimes.
So anyway, what I'm saying is that if you (whoever you are. I don't know who reads this!) love someone, I hope they inspire you to do great things. If they do, then do those things for them.
Thursday, April 05, 2018
EVEN MORE RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING
1) A while ago, I unexpectedly came across a man that I'd gone to school with years and years ago. I didn't know him well at all, which is surprising due to the smallness of my school, but we ran in different circles. I knew he existed, but I don't think we ever spoke. As it turned out, he was working at one of the medical labs that our doctor was affiliated with at the time, and he was the nurse that I happened to get when I went in for my blood tests.
After realizing we knew each other, we spent the next 10 or 15 minutes talking about this and that (which I'm sure made the people in the waiting room just thrilled) but during that time he let me know that his life wasn't going well. He wasn't looking for pity, I could see that, but I assume the life troubles that he was going through were bad enough that he needed to talk about them to someone with a familiar face. I won't give details, as they are not mine to divulge, but needless to say, he was unhappy and didn't see a way to fix his troubles.
I was a bit caught off guard, but I did my best to listen and give him advice, hopefully good advice, or encouragement, or something that might help, but I didn't have much time before I had to leave.
Unfortunately, not long after that, I found out that he committed suicide. His troubles had just gotten too hard to deal with, I guess. I wish more than anything I could have said something that would have helped him, but I failed at that. I realize that if he was to the point of depression that he was telling his life issues to a women he barely knew, it wasn't anything that a quick conversation could fix, but I still feel guilty about it. This didn't happen recently, so I don't know why he has been on my mind so much lately. I just wish I could have helped him, even a little bit.
2) I had my last visit with the behaviorist! Woo-Hoo! Unfortunately, I did discover a thing about myself that is not so great. Not terrible, but not great. We were talking about different types of support that we all have in our lives. We have Listeners (who are people that listen to you when you need them to, but they aren't that invested in you personally and they don't really give advice.) Info Givers (who give you information about solutions to the issues that you face, and who are slightly more invested than the listeners.) Emotional Supporters (who are your cheerleaders, and who are highly invested in your life) and Challengers (who challenge you in lots of ways - to the point of sometimes being harsh, but who are also highly invested in your life.) It was a neat little class.
It's important to have all of these kinds of support in your life, even if you don't particularly like some of them, and we had to figure out which category that we personally fall into. I know that I play different roles to different people in my life, but I tend to be very much a challenger the majority of the time. Being a challenger is not...great. I mean, the words "Metal Plated Bitch" were not spoken, but heavily implied. I always thought I was nicer than that. So I'm sorry if I've been a challenger when you needed something else! I try to be a cheerleader as much as possible, and I don't mind listening (although I do tend to talk a little too much to be good at it) and I'll give you any information I can find to help you out of a tight spot if I can! If it matters, when I am challenging, it's usually because I want you to do good things and make good decisions and be happy and successful, so it isn't a malicious challenging, I swear!
Finding out negative stuff about yourself sucks, but it does help to know about it so you can fix it! Silver lining!
3) A weird side effect of the program I've been in has been that I have absolutely no idea what I look like now. I know that sounds crazy, because mirrors, but in my eyes, I look exactly the same as I did. Other people say that they can tell I've lost weight, but I can't. I see pictures of myself and I look just like I did before, and I see myself in the mirror and I only look slightly different. It's very strange! Another thing is that I have no idea what size clothes I wear anymore. I still have clothes from when I lost weight before, but they are a bit too small, but the clothes I have now are too big. I'm sure there is some kind of temporary mental body-dysmorphia going on, but I wish that would go away so that I'm not so confused when I look in a mirror!
Update on the program: Doing OK, even though I haven't lost as much weight as they thought I would. Personally, I think God won't let me lose too much because He knows that if I look too good I'll be naked ALL OF THE TIME. I would, too. I'm not even ashamed of that.
4) I have a feeling that I sound someone melancholy today, which I'm not, so I'll show you something fun. Some of you have already seen it, but I'm kind of proud of it:
I made a medal holder for our race medals! Yes, I know it's silly, but if I'm going to get them, I might as well put them somewhere where I can see them. Then when (if) I move on to real life races, I can put those medals there too. If I don't get many medals, then it'll be a good place to hang lone socks until I can find the mates. It's win-win! :)
After realizing we knew each other, we spent the next 10 or 15 minutes talking about this and that (which I'm sure made the people in the waiting room just thrilled) but during that time he let me know that his life wasn't going well. He wasn't looking for pity, I could see that, but I assume the life troubles that he was going through were bad enough that he needed to talk about them to someone with a familiar face. I won't give details, as they are not mine to divulge, but needless to say, he was unhappy and didn't see a way to fix his troubles.
I was a bit caught off guard, but I did my best to listen and give him advice, hopefully good advice, or encouragement, or something that might help, but I didn't have much time before I had to leave.
Unfortunately, not long after that, I found out that he committed suicide. His troubles had just gotten too hard to deal with, I guess. I wish more than anything I could have said something that would have helped him, but I failed at that. I realize that if he was to the point of depression that he was telling his life issues to a women he barely knew, it wasn't anything that a quick conversation could fix, but I still feel guilty about it. This didn't happen recently, so I don't know why he has been on my mind so much lately. I just wish I could have helped him, even a little bit.
2) I had my last visit with the behaviorist! Woo-Hoo! Unfortunately, I did discover a thing about myself that is not so great. Not terrible, but not great. We were talking about different types of support that we all have in our lives. We have Listeners (who are people that listen to you when you need them to, but they aren't that invested in you personally and they don't really give advice.) Info Givers (who give you information about solutions to the issues that you face, and who are slightly more invested than the listeners.) Emotional Supporters (who are your cheerleaders, and who are highly invested in your life) and Challengers (who challenge you in lots of ways - to the point of sometimes being harsh, but who are also highly invested in your life.) It was a neat little class.
It's important to have all of these kinds of support in your life, even if you don't particularly like some of them, and we had to figure out which category that we personally fall into. I know that I play different roles to different people in my life, but I tend to be very much a challenger the majority of the time. Being a challenger is not...great. I mean, the words "Metal Plated Bitch" were not spoken, but heavily implied. I always thought I was nicer than that. So I'm sorry if I've been a challenger when you needed something else! I try to be a cheerleader as much as possible, and I don't mind listening (although I do tend to talk a little too much to be good at it) and I'll give you any information I can find to help you out of a tight spot if I can! If it matters, when I am challenging, it's usually because I want you to do good things and make good decisions and be happy and successful, so it isn't a malicious challenging, I swear!
Finding out negative stuff about yourself sucks, but it does help to know about it so you can fix it! Silver lining!
3) A weird side effect of the program I've been in has been that I have absolutely no idea what I look like now. I know that sounds crazy, because mirrors, but in my eyes, I look exactly the same as I did. Other people say that they can tell I've lost weight, but I can't. I see pictures of myself and I look just like I did before, and I see myself in the mirror and I only look slightly different. It's very strange! Another thing is that I have no idea what size clothes I wear anymore. I still have clothes from when I lost weight before, but they are a bit too small, but the clothes I have now are too big. I'm sure there is some kind of temporary mental body-dysmorphia going on, but I wish that would go away so that I'm not so confused when I look in a mirror!
Update on the program: Doing OK, even though I haven't lost as much weight as they thought I would. Personally, I think God won't let me lose too much because He knows that if I look too good I'll be naked ALL OF THE TIME. I would, too. I'm not even ashamed of that.
4) I have a feeling that I sound someone melancholy today, which I'm not, so I'll show you something fun. Some of you have already seen it, but I'm kind of proud of it:
I made a medal holder for our race medals! Yes, I know it's silly, but if I'm going to get them, I might as well put them somewhere where I can see them. Then when (if) I move on to real life races, I can put those medals there too. If I don't get many medals, then it'll be a good place to hang lone socks until I can find the mates. It's win-win! :)
Monday, April 02, 2018
HEH...
Guess what?
I finished my virtual race in Sweden and Norway. It took me a very long time, but I still finished! I got some good advice from a lovely friend about these races, so I've decided to have as much fun with them as possible.
The best part is that I beat Steve by 11 miles! Yay!
Now I'm starting a new one in the Ring of Kerry. It's about 104.5 miles, I think.
I'll keep you updated!
I finished my virtual race in Sweden and Norway. It took me a very long time, but I still finished! I got some good advice from a lovely friend about these races, so I've decided to have as much fun with them as possible.
The best part is that I beat Steve by 11 miles! Yay!
Now I'm starting a new one in the Ring of Kerry. It's about 104.5 miles, I think.
I'll keep you updated!
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