(WHEEZE)

I know this isn't really something that warrants an entire blog entry, but I'm going to tell you anyway, because I thought it was funny and for just a second, I thought I was going to die.

I got cold.  I suppose it was the ice in my drink that did it, but I got really frigging cold while sitting at my desk and couldn't get warm.  I decided that I was going to do some laps around the lobby of the church to warm up a bit, which I did.  It's a boring thing to keep walking in circles, so I decided to take a turn down the classroom hallway for a change of scenery.  At the end of that hallway is a room that looks like a living room, and when I got into that and turned around, I saw a body lying on one of the couches.  It was covered from head to ankles with a blanket and it wasn't moving. 

Look, I'm always terrified I'm going to find a body in our church that isn't supposed to be there, either alive or dead. That sounds crazy, but I was just told that last year a homeless man got into our church and tried to stay overnight, and was only found before we locked the doors because the security guy didn't see him come out at the end of services.  So, yeah, people get into our church sometimes and personally, I don't want to be the one to roll up on them.  So I did the only thing I could think of: I silently screamed and took off down the hallway.

Y'all, I am not a good runner in the best of times, wearing workout clothes and shoes specifically designed for running, but damn it if I didn't Usain Bolt my flowery dress and dress shoe wearing ass down the hall and into the pastor's office. I just knew there was going to be an issue and that I may be called upon to defend myself with hornet spray and my baseball bat and I was NOT ready for that.  Only, when I got there, the pastor wasn't there. 

As it turned out, the pastor was the person asleep (thankfully) on the couch in that room.  He had gotten cold as well and went down there to cover up for a few minutes and he dozed off.  So I was running through the church like a crazy person, ready to lock myself in a closet and wait until everyone else in the building was dead so that I could make my escape, and all it was was my boss taking a nap in a weird place.  I almost wet my pants.  At least I got a good laugh out of it!

I sincerely hope that I am never in a situation with an intruder, because if today is any indication, I'm going to end up being the woman running up the stairs instead of out the back door.  This was not my finest moment, but it sure turned out to be a funny one!