What Now

SIGH.

There are so many things I don't understand anymore.

I can't understand how things can get so completely terrible between two people in such a short about of time. I can't understand how someone can consider throwing away years of their life with someone else without even trying to fight to save them. I can't understand how the things in my life that I've created, loved and worked for could just be discarded without my consent. I can't understand why any of this stuff is happening at all. People keep telling me that all of this is happening for a reason, but I certainly hope it's a GOOD reason.

However, I do know this: I'm going to be OK. Whatever happens, I'm going to be fine. I might not like the road I have to travel, but I'm going to travel it and I'm going to make the best out of whatever hand I'm dealt. I have people in my life who support me and love me and they will help me through all of this. I have to be strong, so I will be. I have to be smart, so I will be. I have to be forgiving, loving, and be able to deal with things that hurt and disappoint, and I will. There have been times lately that I thought I would just rather be dead than to feel as bad as I had been, but I know that isn't true. I didn't cause any of this, but it affects me and I have to deal with it. I'll be OK. I promise.