Monday, May 10, 2010


I called the police for the first time in my life, just this morning.

Don't worry, Steve didn't finally snap and try to attack me with a thumb drive or anything like that. I heard a gunshot somewhere in our neighborhood.

In the span of 2 seconds I went from "Huh, gunshot." to "HOLY PICKLES! GUNSHOT!"

See, growing up out in the willy-wags, we heard gunshots outside all of the time. People were always hunting, or shooting things for funzies, or possibly shooting at each other as bets. We also lived about a mile away from the county prison, so for all I know the warden was playing "The Most Dangerous Game Home Edition." I say all of that to explain that, yes, I am familiar with the sound of a gun discharging. It wasn't a backfiring vehicle or exploding acorns, it was a gunshot. It was also 4:15 am, I was suffering from a bout of not-being-asleepedness, and as I was sitting in my office I heard a gun fire somewhere in my neighborhood. So I did what any sleep deprived adult would do in this situation: I hit the floor and crawled into the living room.

Shut. Up.

I didn't know what to do! On one hand, I live in Alabama and everyone pretty much owns a gun. It's like Texas, but with smaller hats. There could possibly be many reasons a gun would discharge in the armpit of the morning. On the other hand, I live in a suburb where the loudest thing I normally hear is that rat-bastard child down the street playing his snare drum. A gunshot in the early morning isn't normal for where I live. I peeked out of the living room window and didn't see anything. Of course, I was only peeking out of the corner of the window, in case an angry meth-addicted, gun-wielding psychopath was charging about outside. So I ran down the hall and pretty much jumped on Steve. I didn't know if he would protect me from the afore mentioned psychopath (if he existed), but even so, he'd make a wicked human shield. I shook him awake and told him what happened. I wanted to call the police, but I didn't know if I should call emergency services, or just call the office. All I could think of was if I didn't call anyone, and someone was actually hurt, I'd never forgive myself. However, I didn't hear any screaming or cars driving away in haste, so I didn't know what to do. Steve was only partly awake, so he wasn't very helpful.

So I turned to the internet. Apparently, I'm not the only person who's ever wondered what to do in case of gunshots being fired, because I found out what to do immediately. I didn't call 911, because I didn't know what had happened and didn't actively see carnage, so I called a "Non-Emergency" dispatch number. The nice lady took down my info and I told her what happened. She asked me all kinds of questions, and asked if I wanted officers to come by and talk to me, but I declined. I probably sounded retarded, but all I said was "No, I just wanted to let someone know "in case." It's not normal to hear gunshot sounds at 4:15 in the morning around here!" She said she'd send officers to check it out, but I have no idea what good that is going to do unless a body is laying in the street.

Now I feel like an idiot for calling because it was probably nothing, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep ever again if it WAS something bad.


Anonymous said...

I think you did the right thing. I am glad you didn't call 911 and maybe get yelled at. I did see a segment somewhere recently detailing stupid 911 calls and there are some dumbies out there.

Like you when you were growing up, we hear gunshots almost 24/7. (Uncle Garry would shoot me for the 24/7. He finds that statement irritating)

Anonymous said...

I didn't see a thank you for my Happy Mother's Day wishes. But maybe it was Bear and Butler who should have thanked me for not forgetting them.

BTW we took Katie and Sean to see our high school's Wizard of OZ. They were as talented as when my own kids were a part of their drama dept. But I digress....I wanted to say that Toto was played by a very talented ten month old. He had a stamp of a little dog foot (his owner did, actually,)so he could give autographs.

Tae said...

Sorry! I didn't see your mother's day post. Thank you for mentioning me!

Annie said...

OMG. I love the fact that you looked up if you should call 911 on the Internet. You are awesome!!!