For the past several days I have had a very weird feeling. It worries me.
There are many of you who have little patience with my "weird feelings" and think they're silly, but you don't have to believe they are real. I know they are. I don't know what it's about and I don't know who it's about, but I feel like something has happened to someone important to me and I can't do anything about it. That probably doesn't make much sense, I know.
The closest example I can come up with is this, and it might not be universal enough to make anyone else understand: If you've ever had anyone close to you pass away, there is a point when you are trying to wrap your head around what happened and you want to fix it, but know you can't. It's incredibly frustrating, because you know the situation is completely out of your hands, but you keep trying to think of ways it could have been avoided, or reasons it happened, or ways you can change it, but you know that there is nothing you can do. You realize that everything in your life has changed somehow and it wasn't a change you wanted. It's a bad feeling, but one that eventually fades because your rational mind takes over and helps you to work through it.
Only in this case I do not know what is happening or to whom it is happening to, and the feeling isn't going away! I do know how crazy this whole thing sounds, because I have no reasons to think anything is seriously wrong with anyone important to me. Everyone seems fine, or acting as if they are. That doesn't mean stuff isn't going on that I don't know about, of course, but I'd like to think anyone felt they could talk to me if they were having a problem. I'd also normally worry that maybe I'd done something to someone that hurt them or made them mad, but I know that isn't the case.
Maybe it's all the craziness going on in the world and I just want to keep everyone close and make sure they are safe and happy. Who knows? I just want everyone to be OK, and if you aren't, I can try to help or maybe point you in the direction of someone who can.
I know I can be annoyingly huggy, and sometimes I can be a bit judgy (but I promise once that's out of the way I can be full-on sympathetic) but if you are out there reading this and something has happened, or even if you've done something stupid and think you are beyond sympathy/help, it'll be OK. Even if you think it won't be. You can talk to me, or if you don't want to do that, please talk to someone at least.
Anyway...so...weird or not, I hope everyone is OK, and if you aren't, I hope you will be.
Of course, if everyone is fine and no one is having any problems, the feeling may be caused by the bad Red Rope licorice I ate on Monday. Either way...