Lost is over and the finale was great. It deserves a giant can of:

SEE YOU IN ANOTHER HOUR, BROTHA.

This Sunday marks the final episode of what I consider to be one of the best and most fun television series ever. If you don't know which show I'm talking about, just go. Get out of here, now. You are dead to me.

For those of you who remain, you know I'm talking about Lost. I realize how sad and weird it is to be so attached to a television show, but honestly, it has just been a lot of fun. I love mysteries, and this whole show has been nothing but a giant mystery the whole way through. It is very, very rare that I find a TV show that I like this much, so seeing it go is bitter sweet. I'll miss it a great deal.

However, I have a quandary. Since the show is going to air on Sunday instead of it's normal Tuesday night, I won't be home to watch it. I'll be at church. I won't lie, I considered staying home so that I can watch the finale. If that makes me a bad person, well...bite me. It is my opinion that God Himself will probably be watching the finale, even though he probably already knows how it ends. He's a fan, you know. At any rate, I will not be staying home because A) I'll feel bad for skipping church just to watch TV, and B) I'm supposed to run the sound for the services this weekend. This means that I'm going to have to go on full blackout. I don't want to know anything about anything until I get a chance to start watching. I'm not going to answer my phone, I'm not going to listen to the radio, and I'm not going to go anywhere where I could possibly hear a spoiler. Unless you are dying or my house is on fire, don't call me. If you are dying, send me a text message, and if for some reason you happen to mention that you are dying and "oh, yeah, that last scene with Locke being the smoke monster's father was awesome" I will run to your house and smother you with a pillow. This is serious business.

So, there you go. An end to an era. If someone spoils it for me, I will cut a bitch.

That is all.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven't had much going on, honestly, and I'm sure you have better things to do than read about me doing laundry. Also, I've been feeling kind of blah. I honestly don't know what to do with myself these days and I feel kind of lost. Don't worry, I haven't been having a pity part or anything (I'll wait a bit longer before I do that, heehee) but I feel like I'm in limbo these days. Sometimes it feels like I went to the mailbox one morning and pulled this out:

It's signed on the outside because the inside
picture of the universe giving me the finger takes up too much space.

Granted, I know that isn't the case, but I think I've realized that at some point I fell into the trap of connecting my personal image too closely with what I did for a living. I mean, yeah, it wasn't the greatest job, but I liked doing it and thought it was pretty amazing I got to work in such an awesome place. I mean, how many people get to have as much fun working as I did? When people asked, I told them I was a graphic designer for the Sprocket. I even thought I might be a pretty good one, too. Right now, I'm not. I don't really know what I am. I thought I was right where I should be in life, but obviously I was wrong. That's a weird feeling.

Now, before anyone wonders, I'm not looking for affirmation from anyone else. I know there are people out there who think very good things about me and I honestly appreciate that. I think my problem right now is that my self image is kind of damaged. I don't feel sorry for myself, I feel confused. I suppose it is some kind of existential crisis or something. No worries, though. I'm resilient! I've just got to figure out my place in the world. I'll get there.

2) Enough of that stuff! ENOUGH I SAY! On a more fun note, I am now the proud owner of a container of Sea Monkeys! I've always wanted some, but I've somehow avoided buying them until I saw a package of them at Target while Steve and I were grocery shopping. Honestly, they are kind of gross. I mean, they're fascinating and everything, and right now they are cute little pinpricks swimming around in their tank, but still... I'm scared I'm going to wind up killing them or something! I know they are just brine shrimp. Heck, they don't even have brains, but I am still afraid I'm going to hurt them, forget to feed them, or not aerate their little tank enough. I"m also kind of disturbed by the fact that a tank of them can live for 2 years or more because of *sing it with me now* THE CIRCLE....THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That means if I don't kill them, which I'm going to try not to do of course, I'm going to have a container of sea critters in my house for around 2 years. What if they breed some kind of genetic anomaly and become sentient? What if I wake up one morning and see them walking around in the kitchen?! I'm scared.

I hope they don't mutate and take over the world.
If they do, though, SyFy will make a movie out of it! Silver Linings!

3) I found another blog today that I like a lot. It's called Fallen Princess, and although I'm not 100% sure, I think the woman who writes it is a former fashion editor for Sassy magazine. She writes about body image and how things are portrayed in the media, but she also writes about her life and other interesting things. It's at least worth a look!

4) Huntsville got a new Earth Fare grocery store recently and I drove across town to check it out yesterday. I loved it! It was big and full of all kinds of things I'd never heard of before! You know how I am about things like that. My only complaint is that almost everything is really expensive! I'm sure there were lots of things that might be worth the extra money, but geez. I did pick up a few things, but I don't think I can make a habit of getting my regular groceries there. I'm sure I'll go back and get some other stuff, though. They have some fresh squeezed orange juice that is to die for! I wondered around for about an hour, just looking for the most part. I think I've figured them out. It's just a big, expensive, organic market created for dirty hippies. If that's the case, I hope I grow up to be a dirty hippie so I can afford more of their stuff! :)

5) I am once again trying my hand at container gardening. What I was specifically interested in growing was strawberries, but I also got a teeny little orange tree. It was on clearance, so I couldn't resist. I think the strawberry plants I bought may be dead, but not at my own hand, thank goodness. They came in a plastic bag wrapped in a burlap sack and even though they had roots that looked alive, I can't tell. I planted them, but we have to wait and see. I may end up going to a nursery or something to see if they have strawberry plants that don't come in a plastic bag. My orange tree still looks alive, at least. It's one of the small ones that you move inside in the winter, so maybe I'll actually get some oranges out of it! If so, marmalade for everyone!

QUICKIE

Just an update on my current issues with my former job.

I recently got a letter that informed me that I have been denied 6 weeks of unemployment because of "misconduct" at work because of what I wrote on my blog. I'm not sure at this point, but I also may have to go through the process of reapplying for benefits because of this, which will be another 3 week delay. I won't know for sure until after the 6 weeks are over, because that's what I can call them again.

S0, even though I was told I wasn't let go because of the stupid blog thing by HR, and even though I explained that to the lady from the department of industrial relations, who in turn called the HR department of my former job and was told what I can only assume was the same information, I am still being punished for what was an honest and inadvertent mistake.

I'm not even mad anymore. I'm simply too tired of it all to be mad.

Sprocket, I get it. You win. Please leave me alone now.

YIKES

I called the police for the first time in my life, just this morning.

Don't worry, Steve didn't finally snap and try to attack me with a thumb drive or anything like that. I heard a gunshot somewhere in our neighborhood.

In the span of 2 seconds I went from "Huh, gunshot." to "HOLY PICKLES! GUNSHOT!"

See, growing up out in the willy-wags, we heard gunshots outside all of the time. People were always hunting, or shooting things for funzies, or possibly shooting at each other as bets. We also lived about a mile away from the county prison, so for all I know the warden was playing "The Most Dangerous Game Home Edition." I say all of that to explain that, yes, I am familiar with the sound of a gun discharging. It wasn't a backfiring vehicle or exploding acorns, it was a gunshot. It was also 4:15 am, I was suffering from a bout of not-being-asleepedness, and as I was sitting in my office I heard a gun fire somewhere in my neighborhood. So I did what any sleep deprived adult would do in this situation: I hit the floor and crawled into the living room.

Shut. Up.

I didn't know what to do! On one hand, I live in Alabama and everyone pretty much owns a gun. It's like Texas, but with smaller hats. There could possibly be many reasons a gun would discharge in the armpit of the morning. On the other hand, I live in a suburb where the loudest thing I normally hear is that rat-bastard child down the street playing his snare drum. A gunshot in the early morning isn't normal for where I live. I peeked out of the living room window and didn't see anything. Of course, I was only peeking out of the corner of the window, in case an angry meth-addicted, gun-wielding psychopath was charging about outside. So I ran down the hall and pretty much jumped on Steve. I didn't know if he would protect me from the afore mentioned psychopath (if he existed), but even so, he'd make a wicked human shield. I shook him awake and told him what happened. I wanted to call the police, but I didn't know if I should call emergency services, or just call the office. All I could think of was if I didn't call anyone, and someone was actually hurt, I'd never forgive myself. However, I didn't hear any screaming or cars driving away in haste, so I didn't know what to do. Steve was only partly awake, so he wasn't very helpful.

So I turned to the internet. Apparently, I'm not the only person who's ever wondered what to do in case of gunshots being fired, because I found out what to do immediately. I didn't call 911, because I didn't know what had happened and didn't actively see carnage, so I called a "Non-Emergency" dispatch number. The nice lady took down my info and I told her what happened. She asked me all kinds of questions, and asked if I wanted officers to come by and talk to me, but I declined. I probably sounded retarded, but all I said was "No, I just wanted to let someone know "in case." It's not normal to hear gunshot sounds at 4:15 in the morning around here!" She said she'd send officers to check it out, but I have no idea what good that is going to do unless a body is laying in the street.

Now I feel like an idiot for calling because it was probably nothing, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep ever again if it WAS something bad.

DON'T LOOK IT IN THE EYE!

I've posted this on Twitter and Facebook, so I thought I'd go ahead and post it here too since it's my last social networking outlet.

What? It was like hanging a picture just off center or only having one book end. I needed closure.



















Also, I think it's funny. Don't judge me.

This was another hat challenge. I was sent a picture of an awesome Cthulu hat a while back, and was told I should make one like it. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the pattern, so I had to improvise. I kept it on much longer than I needed to just to get this picture. It tickled me. :)

So, anyone have another hat suggestion?

YOU WANT TO GO TO THERE

This website makes me laugh. If you go there and you don't laugh, you're pretty much dead inside.

DEAD!

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) Oy, I had a terrible nightmare the night before last! Actually, I can't remember most of the dream itself, but I do remember it involved the serial killer from "American Psycho" and he was after me for some reason. Well, maybe it wasn't the dream that was so scary as much as it was the fact that towards the end of it I wound up in one of those half awake "sleep paralysis" situations where I had woken up enough to realize I was still in my room, but still asleep enough to think the bad guy was outside of my room trying to get in. I couldn't move, so I couldn't use the phone to dial 911, and I couldn't move to get out of the window. I couldn't even turn my head to see if he was next to the bed. I was so scared! I finally woke up fully, but I stayed in bed a while to cower. Geez. I didn't even have chocolate before going to bed, so I have no idea where that dream came from.

2) I'm learning to make hard candy and I'm getting good at it! It isn't difficult, so don't get too impressed, but it is time consuming and you have to be careful not to burn the sugar. The first batch I made was tea flavored! Remember that candy I had to order from Japan? Now I can make it myself! HAHA! Take THAT Japan! Having said that, I had to throw the resulting candy away after a day or two because I mistakenly coated it in cornstarch instead of powdered sugar, so it started tasting kind of mealy. Oh well, the second batch was much better, and I'm going to make more so I can put it with my mom's Mother's Day gift. I'm hoping that even at my advanced age, she will still love it because I made it. :)

3) I pulled out my polymer clay yesterday and started sculpting. I forgot how much fun it is, but it's also super messy. I'm hoping to be able to be able to incorporate it into some of the jewelry I'm making. I think I might have a place to sell my Steampunk stuff, but I have to check with my friend to see if they still need items for the shop. Otherwise, I'm going to have to hurry up and open my Etsy shop. Yes, I have one, but I haven't put anything in it yet.

4) Did you see Lost last night?! GAH! Awesome.

5) Still no luck on the job front, but I'm looking! Thinking of going back to school for a class or two for some certifications, though. I still have some research to do on that front.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO RANT

Well, it looks like my former employer has managed to kick me while I was down. Last week I got a call from the state department that handles the unemployment payments.

Wait, let me backtrack a bit.

The day after I was let go, I had to take my parking pass back to HR and get the information I would need to take the next steps I'd need to do. The nice HR lady told me what to do to get everything squared away, so when I got home from seeing her, I registered online for the unemployment benefits exactly the way she told me to. I don't like getting unemployment payments, even though I really appreciate that they're available. It makes me feel bad, having to take them, but I know I need it until I can find another job, so I was hyper-careful about filling out the form. I did exactly what the HR lady told me to do, gave the exact reason she told me I was let go, and made sure I checked and double checked everything before I gave the final go-ahead for the information to be processed.

OK, so I get a call last week from a lady with the agency, which I thought was a routine call verifying the information. Instead of that, I was told that the reason I gave for being let go was completely different from the reason they were told by my former employers. Say what?! She said the reason they were given was that I had disclosed confidential information online. I told her that, yes, that had happened, but that it was all because of a misunderstanding and I also told her that the 'official reason' I was given was because my job responsibilities had changed and I didn't have the skills to do them (grrr). When she asked me to explain, I told her the whole story. I explained it all honestly. She then asked if I had been given verbal or written warnings before my termination and I told her no, not at all (which is the truth.) She told me that her files indicated that I HAD been given these warnings. Say what #2?!

How could I have been given prior warnings for something that had never been an issue before that day? I promise to you that I not only had never been warned before the day I was let go, I had every reason to believe that my employment at that place was going to continue at least another year! I have an email from my boss telling me that my yearly temporary lay-off was being scheduled so that I would be back in time to help with the upcoming exhibit! There was no indication that anything was wrong, much less that I was such a sub-standard employee that I was on the verge of being fired! It is all completely preposterous.

The thing that absolutely kills me is that now I look like a liar. I look like I purposefully didn't disclose all of the information to the state agency, when all I did was tell them what I was told to. I suppose I could have listed all of the reasons that were printed on that page they handed me the day they let me go, but most of them were so silly (and some even blatantly untrue) that I didn't mention them. Mainly because I was told to tell them the 'official' reason, which I did.

The worst part about it all is that there is nothing I can do about it. I have no recourse. As a temporary employee, I had no rights to appeal this decision because our state laws show that I could be fired for any reason and without explanation. Even without the weird accusations, they could have just as well have said - 'Get out, we don't like your shoes.' I still wouldn't have any rights. I called HR and the nice HR lady (who is probably tired of me at this point) said the state agency woman had called them back and that everything had been straightened out, but who's to say for sure?

I can't get past the feeling that no matter what I say, I'm just going to come across as someone who's lying to everyone so that I don't look bad. There are so many people who lie about why they got fired, why would I be any different? Who are they going to believe, me or my former employers? That makes me sick to my stomach, because I may be silly, I may be a lot of things, but I am NOT a liar. But if I am denied benefits because I didn't disclose all of the information, there isn't anything I can do about that either. My story didn't match their story. Who are they going to believe?

Somehow, I don't think my slip up about the special guest at the premier event is deserving of the treatment I've gotten.

Oh, and to make things more fun, Steve bought us tickets to this opening event back in February, so I'll be attending the infernal event. Awkward...

Anyways, sorry for the rant. Hopefully, everything will be better from here on, one way or another and I'll never have to mention this situation ever again.