What Now

I think we've all seen that t-shirt by now. You know, the one that says "My Purpose In Life Is To Be A Warning To Others." I've finally embraced the fact that it could actually be true about me.

Case in point: This is going to be a bit TMI for some of you, but not in a really bad way. Normally I wouldn't talk about this sort of thing because it just seems kind of indelicate, but it has to be explained in order for you to fully understand how STUPID what I did was.

Last week I told you I had been sick. At first I thought it was a cold, but I never had a fever. I then thought I might have a sinus infection, because I get those a lot. However, I didn't have headaches or a sore throat. In fact, the only problem I really had was an extremely stopped up nose (when it wasn't running), sneezing, I was tired most of the time, and my eyes were constantly burning and watering. It had gotten bad enough for me to need to take a day off from work last week, and although I was hoping it would be better by the weekend, it wasn't. Steve bought me medicine, I took vitamins, I rested, I did everything I could think of to get better, but it just wasn't happening. I even went to Steve's company Christmas party completely stoned on cough medicine and Dayquil. It was rough. Because I felt so bad, I didn't go to church yesterday and I was just about to the point here I was going to agree to go to the doctor, even though I knew I would wind up getting a shot (which I'm just terrified of for some reason.) I don't have a problem with doctors, of course, but I would have had to go to the Doc-In-A-Box and it never fails that they ALWAYS give us the same meds if we go to see them with those particular symptoms: A shot for the congestion, a bottle of codeine cough syrup, and a pack of antibiotics. I had my own reasons for believing I didn't have a sinus infection, and I didn't want to have to take antibiotics because I worry about becoming resistant to them. Also, they don't really seem to help me a lot of the time and it seemed like a waste of money. So, I looked up a few home remedies to help my stuffed up nose and found something that sounded useful. I don't know if any of you have ever heard of nasal irrigation, but it is basically where you pour warm salt water into your nose to help flush out bad things. I had done it before, but forgotten about how well it worked, so in a last ditch effort not to have to go to the doctor, I decided to try it.

I have to stop here to explain the part of the story that might be a bit TMI. Since a day or so after I started feeling sick, I had been getting a slightly bloody nose almost every day. It wasn't bad, but if I had to blow my nose...yeah, there you go. Don't make me explain further. My nose also started to burn when I would breathe, as if the air I'd breathe is was scorching my sinuses. At first I didn't know why there could be bloody noses or the pain could be happening, but I had also been using all nasal spray and drops every day so I could breathe and realized that with the constant blowing of the nose, violent sneezing, and spraying of different things up my nose, I probably had very raw nerves in there. It was unpleasant. But I digress...

I got the salt water solution ready and went into the bathroom to do the irrigation thing (I'm sorry, I know it's gross, but bear with me.) Oh. The. Humanity. I don't really recall much about the next minute or so except for extreme pain and a blinding urge to rip the nose off of my face. It didn't occur to me before I began the ill fated treatment that if I used salt water to flush out my nose, I would basically be pouring salt water onto raw nerves. It was horrible. I just stood there, swaying on the spot, trying to keep my head from exploding. I think I might have tried to scream, but no sound came out of my mouth. Needless to say, the home remedy was abandoned completely. It hurt so much. It was like someone inside of my head trying to claw their way out.

After that, I just couldn't think of what to do, except maybe one more thing. I have to take two allergy meds every day, but I was out of one of them and had forgotten to refill my prescription for a couple of weeks, and so I called it in. As soon as I got it home, I used it and could tell a difference within an hour. I didn't realize that I depended so much on that particular medication! Apparently I'm allergic enough to something in my house or at least allergic to something I came in contact with, that my head will shut down if I don't take my medicine. I'm not completely well yet, but I can already tell a huge difference. Now I'm just trying to get better from the beating my respiratory system has taken over the last week or so. Once my voice comes back, I should be fine. :)