I don't want to dream anymore. I had another horrible dream last night. It was one of those dreams that make you feel bad even after you wake up. I won't go into detail, but anyone and everyone who reads this please promise me something. If there comes a time where I don't fit into your lives anymore, please just tell me and then tell me you don't want to be friends anymore and why. Don't just try to phase me out by not talking to me or not writing me or whatever. At least have the decency to give me some kind of closure. I don't want to ever be that person who writes or calls and just gets courtesy replies or one word answers. Have the courage to just tell me to leave you alone. This is the second of the same kind of dream I've had this week, and it's starting to really wear on my emotional state of mind. When you wake up and still feel unwanted, that sucks. Ciao.

"There's something disheartening about a woman with raggedy drawers." -- Warwick, CSI.

I don't know why, but that made me laugh. : )

COWORKERS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

Okay, two things this morning.

1) Yesterday I laughed so hard I cried. We had a couple of ladies in our office that were talking about wanting to the "The Passion of the Christ". There is a woman that works with us who is, how can I say this, kind of a flake. Well, she overheard them talking and said "OOOH! I want to see that too! But when you get back, don't tell me how it ends!" It was like the world stopped for a second, and then everyone just fell out. I don't think it would have been as funny if she wasn't such a religious person herself. Too funny.

2) I think I've offended someone, but I can't for the life of me figure out how! I tried talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and I was totally ignored! Since I don't know if I did or said something I should say I'm sorry for, I don't know what to do! Of course, it could be completely hormonal or something and have nothing to do with me. I just hate not knowing if I've done something wrong. Some people just aren't comfortable with telling you they're mad. I just wish they'd tell me if I did do something so I could grovel. I'm not too proud to do that : )

EX-BOYRFRIEND FLASHBACKS

I had yet another dream about an ex boyfriend! (I'm sure you noticed, but I talk about my dreams a lot. They facinate me!) I dreamed that I was at a party, and my ex, the one who was 24 when I was 17, was there. Now, I didn't like him much when I was dating him, I know this now. I was flattered that a guy so much older wanted to date me. Anyways, I was eating something and holding a book (?) and he walked up to me. I was surprised to see him because I haven't seen him except for once since we dated, and I couldn't figure out why he was with my friends. He came up to me and said "Well, Kelly, I haven't seen you in a long time. Looks like you've been going downhill ever since." Even in my dream, that hurt my feelings! I stood there feeling worthless for a while, but then I got furious! I threw my book at him! I have wicked good aim when I'm mad (ask Steve). I don't really remember anything else because I woke up so mad! Anyone want to interpret that for me?!

SUFFER FROM INFEDELITY?

Please! I just read an article about some movie star who is getting a divorce because he cheated on his wife. He went on to say that "Martin Luther King Jr. suffered from infidelity, so did John F. Kennedy. You're more likely to find great leadership coming from a man who likes to have sex with a lot of women than one who's monogamous." Let me just completely lose my composure here for a second. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, WHAT AN IDIOT! First off, I can't think of anything that shows that you don't have any love, respect, or feelings than when you are unfaithful to your spouse. I can't think of many things in this world that makes you less of a human being in my book that cheating. Here is this guy who just couldn't "keep it to himself" and now he's trying to justify it AND say that the best leaders are the ones who aren't monogamous? Is he kidding? I don't have respect for people who can't make a marital commitment and stick to it, much less want them running our government or whatever. I'd like to find this guy and just beat the snot out of him for being stupid. I don't even have the verbaige to explain how much this makes me mad. If you can't "not" cheat on someone you are supposed to love, then don't be with them. If you get caught, don't make stupid statements. Stupid Moron.
There I feel better now.

WHERE ARE YOU?

last night Josh came over so that Steve could teach him some stuff about computer networking (something for his graduate course) and I was doing my own thing in the office. I heard Josh leave and Steve walked out after him so I thought that they were still talking. Well, when I was done in the office, I decided to do a little self maintenance and put on a mud mask and when I had it on, I went into the living room to wait for it to dry. I was going to keep it on until Steve came back in because it freaks him out when I have one on (I love messing with him). Well, I waited and waited for him to come back in, and my face was itching like crazy because the dumb thing dried. Well, I decided I wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing his face when he saw me, but before I went back in to take it off, I looked outside. He wasn't there. I walked through the house calling him (well as much as you can call someone when you have on a mud mask) and he wasn't anywhere to be found. I had a small freak out because he wouldn't answer me. I walked into the kitchen to see if his pocket stuff was there, because he doesn't leave the house without it, and it was still there. I had a bigger freak out and grabbed the phone to make his cellphone ring, and he answered it. I was all, where are you? He said "didn't I tell you I was leaving? Um, no! He had gone to his work to show Josh how networking worked or some such thing and didn't tell me he was going anywhere. Fathead! : )
we saw Annie at Huntsville High School on Saturday and it was truly awesome. The kids did a really great job! I didn't know high school productions could be that good. : ) It made me want to jump up on stage and sing and dance. I didn't though, that would have been weird.
My sister may have to move somewhere up north! I don't want her to go! Her husband works for Chrysler, and since that other company is taking over, he may get transferred! I would miss her and her family too much! I hope they don't have to go.
Okay, let's take a vote on how many teary eyed drag queens and single gals watched the last episode of Sex in the City. Okay, well, I have to admit, I watched it too. I really don't like that show at all, but I had to see how it ended. It was about like I thought it would be. Not too sorry that I didn't watch much of the series, but it IS one of those shows that you can get emotionally attached to if you watch it enough I guess. Oh yeah, and a big "thanks" to HBO for the full frontal of Kim Cattral. *shudder*
I'm here if you need me.

Greetings! It's too early in the morning for me to be out of bed, but my darn internal clock said "WAKE UP!" so I did. We had the WORST time last night trying to get our new fridge. We walked into Lowes and found exactly what we wanted, paid for it, and got it home. Seems perfectly simple, right? Well, not so much. We called a friend over to help us get it into the house (Thanks Anthony!) and while he was on his way, we realize...it's too tall. No really, way too tall for our refridgerator space. So tall we would have to cut the cabinets in half to make it fit. We were NOT going to do that, so Steve and Anthony took it back only to find that there wasn't one in stock that would fit in that space unless we wanted one just like the kind we already have. (I'm not sure if that's possible anyways because the one we have is one of those avocado green Kenmoore ones from about 1820.) So Steve had to order a smaller one (which was more expensive) and it will be delivered sometime in the next 15 years. SIGH. Why can't things be easier?
I was just reading a friends blog, and he went to a place called World Market, a place that doesn't exist in Huntsville. Now I'm all intrigued and I can't do anything about it until I go to B'Ham! Maybe if I visit him sometime, he'll take me there. HINT HINT!!
As soon as the batteries in the digicam are charged again, I'm going to take pictures of the drawing class assignments that I'm most proud of. We spent last night analyzing the "Lady with No Face" and "Thumbprint Me" drawings I did. I'd like to know your opinion about them. Ooh, that reminds me, I owe someone a painting!
I bought an MP3 player the other day, which frankly is strange since I don't usually buy any type of electronics at all, and it's awesome. It's the Virgin Pulse
VP-02. It's completely awesome, but I'm going to have to get some kind of memory card to store all the songs I want on there. I was hoping to be able to transfer my iTunes music on it until I could get a new CD burner, but they aren't the right format. Oh well, ripped some MP3s from somce CDs and put on there. Speaking of iTunes, I have downloaded some of the best songs on there! I hate that we now have to pay for them, not that 99 cents is too much for a song, but I liked getting them free better! : ) I'm such a closet criminal. No, don't worry, we stopped doing the whole file trading months ago. Anyways, I want to wallow in the couch or something before I get ready for work. We're going to see Annie at Josh's school tonight, so I'll let you know how that goes. Have a wonderful day! : )

You know those WWJD bracelets that people used to wear to remind them of how Jesus would handle a situation? I never wore one, but yesterday I had something happen to me (which I will not recount a)because I don't know if the person involved ever reads my blog and b)I'm beginning to realize that maybe someone is trying to tell me something) that made me have a WWJD moment. I just want to say, IT'S HARD! There is nothing like wanting to tell someone you caught them doing something sneaky and wrong, and not doing it because you know it's the worst way to handle a situation and also it isn't your place to throw stones. SIGH. WWJD indeed.
I'm happy to report that Steve is feeling a little bit better. He still isn't 100%, but he doesn't sound like he's breathing underwater anymore. I suppose it's his private nurse that is responsible : ) Nah, all I do is remind him to take his meds.
My dinner with my family went well and I had a great time. Mom made chicken fingers and rice (My favorite) and the best, most wonderful coconut cake! We also watched Pirates of the Caribbean (Johnny Depp....growl). It was really nice, I just wish Steve had felt well enough to come. : (
I had a weird dream last night about an old boyfriend from high school. I dreamed that I saw him with his girlfriend (who in reality is a girl who is in my history class) in church and I told him I was going to leave Steve and marry him, and he agreed. Then I went outside and scratched things into the paint of his girlfriend's car. It was actually kind of funny, but I have no idea why I dreamed about this particular boyfriend. I don't really like him much anymore. Well, it was still funny. : )
Well, I'm off to draw more naked people today! Wish me luck!

Well, it's my birthday. Ye-and/or-ha. Steve gave me my gift last night and I have to say that it showed an amazing amount of incite. : ) He got help from the ladies he works with, and he made me a gift basket with Burts Bees stuff, Books, cards from Butler, Bear, and him, and a heart shaped box of Godiva Truffles. : ) It was really very great. He got me five books: a CSI mystery, Bridget Jones Diary, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc, and The Secret Lives of Bees. Now I have books upon books to read! I sort of feel like Scrooge McDuck when he swims through his money bin. : )
Tonight I had planned to make dinner, and Steve and I would eat and have a good time. I knew I shouldn't have looked forward to it so much because now he's sick. I'm not mad that he's sick (that would be stupid), but I am disappointed. I mean he JUST got sick...like it was waiting for a day we had plans. This happens to me a lot on my birthday, I noticed. I remember when I was in the first or second grade I was supposed to have a sleepover on my birthday and it was all I could think or talk about. My mom got the flu and I had to cancel it. I also got sick on my birthday a couple of times, and then there was little stuff like the dog stepping in my birthday cake (which is kind of funny in retrospect) and sleet storms, or friends at my party getting into fights, or like my 15th birthday party when my drama queen boyfriend at the time decided to go into a sulking fit and stand outside the whole time during the party (except of course when he yelled at my best friend for no apparent reason). You know, I'm not writing all of this down for sympathy, so don't feel sorry for me or anything. I'm way past needing that type of reaction. I suppose that I'm just wondering if anyone knows why my birthdays seem to be jinxed. Heck, anything I genuinely look forward too is jinxed. The sole exception of this was my wedding, and I can't say I was real excited about it because I was terrified that something would go wrong. It's insane. I'm about to the point where I don't want to celebrate it anymore just so that I'm not expecting anything. Some people decide that they don't want to get older. Me, I just don't want to be let down. Tomorrow I will have my birthday lunch with my family. That should be good, shouldn't it?

Smart people suck. I'm not talking about quietly intelligent people who don't throw their abilities around. I'm talking about those people who are too smart for their own good and they have to bring up everything they know. There are some of the latter in my Cont. Art and Issues class. The worst offender is Annoying Girl. She is a philosophy major (what will she do with that I wonder) who likes to hear herself talk....a lot. Now, don't get me wrong, she is very, very smart. However, I would love it if one of the MANY times she talks during class that she would say something that made sense to someone who doesn't sleep with Freud. I think she builds up a whole arsenal of big words and obtuse ideas and just waits to come into our class and use them. Now, granted, I may not be smart enough to know what she's talking about. I'm not too proud to say that. However, I honestly think she just likes to show off. It's insane. Not only that, but when she talks, she raises her voice on the last word she says so that it sounds like a question. For that alone, she should be destroyed.
Other than that, it's my birthday tomorrow! Woo-Hoo! I'll be 26 and "dead sexy!" I have to work in the morning, but I'm going to make dinner that night (because I hate trying to go out on Valentine's day and try to do anything...ick) and who knows after that. Maybe we'll get a movie. Eh, who knows. Maybe nothing. That's probably more realistic.

I was on TV! Yes folks, I was on WAFF Channel 48 as a product tester and I was interviewed and everything. If your interested is seeing the web entry they did about it, here is the link!

www.waff.com/Global/story.asp?S=1642747&nav=0hBBKn4c

I hate the closeups and they made me sound sort of monosyllabic, but it was fun. : )

Yuck, Valentine's Day.

You know, it's been a long, long time since I gave a rat's rear for Valentine's Day. I have not had one - ONE- Valentine's Day ever that was anything like I had hoped it would be. You are innundated with images of how romantic it's supposed to be, but in reality it's nothing like that. Yuck. I've totally given up on it. Don't worry, I'm not whining about it or anything, I'm just making an observation. I just kind of think it's stupid. Why should anyone need a special day to let someone know how you feel about them?

Of course to ammend that statement, any holiday where people give you chocolate can't be all bad! : )

I'm disgusted. I just read an article about a Tennessee woman who has filed a Billion (or Billions) dollar suit against everyone involved in the SuperBowl Boobiegate scandal. Okay, granted not everyone wanted to see Janet Jackson's breast, but come on. I saw what happened. Her boob was on the screen for less that 5 seconds and everyone is having a fit over it. Good grief, a Victoria's Secret commercial has more skin than that, and it lasts at least 30 seconds. You know what I have to say? GET OVER IT! It was an accident! Ms. Jackson has apologized and been embarrassed about this for a whole durn week. If you are so sensitive about the things you see on TV, then throw the stupid thing out of the window. Read a book! In my opinion, this woman just wants money she doesn't deserve or attention she doesn't need. I say we all go down to the Tennessee bank she works and flash her through the front windows! Who's with me! : )

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING

I think I'm going a little bit crazy. I don't mean straight-jacket crazy, but I'm starting to get worried. I can't remember anything for longer than a couple of days! I just had a very embarrassing e-mail exchange with one of the few people who's opinion of me matters, and I know I sounded like a loon. I simply couldn't remember what he was talking about. It wasn't until something jogged in my head that I remembered. Of course, what he was talking about didn't occour to me until after I had already sent the crazy sounding e-mail. SIGH. Of all things in the world, I don't need to lose my memory!

Well, at least Steve will be glad. This way I won't bring up old stuff when we argue : )

Well, now that I remember what he was talking about, I'll say a prayer when I see the "S".

If I drink any more water, I'm going to explode. There is going to have to be a little dutch boy with his finger in my belly button to make sure that I don't flood the town.
I've decided to do this whole weight loss thing. I hate diets, I hate water, I hate not being able to have a cheeseburger if I want a cheeseburger! However, I also hate having to buy my clothes at Chattanooga Tent and Awning, so I'm on a mission. If you are reading this, I want you to hold me responsible. I'm doing this weight loss program at church called "First Place" and it's a great class. I haven't been as faithful with it as I should be, so I'm not doing that well. I didn't want to say anything about this because I hate it when people who are on diets talk about them. However, if I'm going to do this and succeed, I'm going to have to have someone saying "PUT DOWN THE BURRITO!"
I will look like Britney Spears one day, OH YES, I will look like Britney Spears. Oh, who are we kidding, I'm so much cuter than her! : )

It's official, I will be moving my webpage to my vast Comcast webspace. I don't know when I'll do this, so don't forget to change your bookmarks (wow, I almost said that with a straight face) when it's changed over. For those of you who actually read the rest of my website, I updated it tonight with a few little things. The picture on the home page is especially cute! : ) The official last good picture I've taken.

Wow, did you see the superbowl last night? I don't like professional football, but that was a good game! I wanted the Panthers to win, but it was because everyone was saying they couldn't win more than an actual preference. I didn't get to see the beginning of the game and apparently I missed a lot of the best commercials. I also missed the boobie-oopsie that happened during the half time show! I think it's hilarious. Poor Ms. Jackson-If-Your-Nasty, though. Having your goodies flashed all over national tv by Justin Timberlake. I'd have to have myself ajaxed and put into solitary confinement. There is a picture of them after it happened, and if looks could kill, that mouskateer would be pushing up daisies! : ) Classic.
It's Artist Monday in Mr. Stewarts class. I actually liked the artist this time, but I don't feel like talking about her. I should just skip class, but since I missed my other class on thursday, I don't want to start a bad habit. I always feel guilty for missing class. I could be broken and bleeding from the eyes, and I would still feel bad for missing school or work. SIGH.