Because I know you want it, it's time for the WEEKEND UPDATE! YAY!

Before I begin on the update proper, I will go ahead and say that there are great, big holes in my memory about this weekend. I've been the epitome of a frosted flake for the past three days.

Friday was nothing spectacular, but I still enjoyed myself. Steve had offered to help Anthony do something (hole #1) and so I was on my own for the evening. Because I wasn't hungry but thirsty (gratuitus Gumpage), and because it was payday, I went to Wal-Mart and got the material I needed to do the sewing project I had planned. Gotta loooooove the $1.00 material section at Wal-Mart. I figured that with as brain addled as I have been about the sewing thing, I didn't want to spend a great deal of money on the material that I was going to use this time. When I left there I decided that I wanted to pick some dinner up on the way home. I didn't have many choices around the ghetto Wal-Mart, so I decided to just run through the McDonald's drive through. I don't really go to McDonald's very much anymore. I don't know why, really, it's just not my favorite spot, but I was in the mood for junk food and it was close. So I get into line and sit there...and sit there...and sit there. Two cars in front of me drove off before they even got to the drive through speaker thing. I was thinking about following them when the line moved up and in no time I had placed my order and moved to the first window. After giving the lady my money I sat there....and sat there...and sat there some more. Had I not paid, and not been trapped under the awning, I would have probably left. I sat there for a ridiculous amount of time before I moved up enough to see what the problem was. Apparently the ice cream machine was broken. Instead of moving the machine, which was right in the little niche of the drive through window, into the back to work on it, the genius guy had it blocking the window from the inside. The poor drive through clerk was having to run food outside to the cars. This normally wouldn't be a problem, but the lady ahead of me had apparently ordered enough food for a soccer team and kept having the girl run inside for other little stuff. By the time I got to where she waved me up to the door, she was completely ferhoodled. She walked out with two cups and tried handing them to me. I told her I had a large Sprite and that was it. So she proceeded to hand me the medium sized cup and say "Yeah, sprite!" and then run back inside. Not only was it the wrong size, it was only about 3/4ths of the way full and wasn't even Sprite! Yes, I got ticked. No, I didn't tell her. She had enough problems with her job and I wasn't going to add to them. I have a soft spot for people in customer service positions (seeing that I have had many of those jobs myself). I mean, it was a soda, not a big deal. So I went home and had dinner and began working on my project. It's supposed to be a dress. It took me over two hours just to cut the pieces out! Simplicity my foot! At any rate, I started putting it together and so far so good. It looks like what the pattern said it was going to. I only sewed this one part on upside down, but I've discovered a wonderful thing called a seam ripper, so I was able to fix it! I only have the top part finished and I didn't get any trim, so it's a little plain and it kind of looks like something from an Anime cartoon, but other than that, I'm very proud. I think that after some embellishment of a sort I might actually be able to wear it! Go me!

Saturday was full of plans and promise. However, I didn't do any of the stuff I had planned! Steve and I were going to clean up the house for the bug people to come in and spray, but we really only accomplished going to Sams and buying enough gatorate to replenish the entire Dallas Cowboys team. We also got a new fridge for the garage because we needed a place to put the gatorade. : ) Actually, we needed more freezer space, but not enough to justify buying a chest freezer, so we got this one for the freezer and to put drinks in so that they don't take up all of the room in our regular fridge. We also met our friends to go and see a movie. I kind of made a nerd out of myself at the place we went to dinner. The waiter came over and I realized he was a guy from one of my classes last year. He was really nice, but I can't say we were real buddies or anything. However, because I recognized him and I wasn't thinking, I just yelled "HEY!" like he was my long lost brother or something. I realize I tend to do this a lot. I suppose it's just the part of me who thinks of everyone as my friend, even when I barely know them. Well, unless they make me not like them and then I become EVIL KELLY. Anyways, he was cool about it, but I felt like a big dork. The movie we were going to see was Monster House in 3D. I want to say I liked it, and as far as the 3D stuff goes I suppose I did, but it was terribly morbid and much too scary for children. It was rated PG, but there were some pretty young kids in there with us. It was marketed WAY wrong, in my opinion. It's made to look like a cute little haunted house cartoon movie. You know, the kind where it turns out the house isn't haunted by a mean ghost but something much more benign. In actuality, it was like Tim Burton remade "The Haunting" and used CGA characters. I left hoping that none of the kids were scarred for life.

Sunday was another regular Sunday. You'll be proud to know that my underwear was no where in site this weekend. I'm sure everyone at church breathed a sigh of relief. : ) That was the day my brain went on vacation, though. I forgot about everything! We were supposed to be celebrating my nephew Seth and my bro-in-law Shawn's birthdays. I hadn't brought a card or a gift or anything! So I got in the internet and printed a card for Seth. He wouldn't care if it was a gum wrapper with "Happy Birthday" written on it in lipstick as long as there was money in it...unfortunately. Mom was able to find a card I could give to Shawn and I just wrote him a check. Money seems so impersonal, but in emergencies you do what you have to! We were also having a snack thing after night service, I totally flaked on that and forgot to get anything to take. I was also supposed to sing and had almost forgotten about that too. Luckily I rememberd right before church and put my tape in my purse. By the time church was over, Steve and I were drained. We just went home and remained motionless for a while. I started reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" and it is really great. How come no one has ever recommended this to me before?

So that was my weekend. Bringing you the fun side of boredom, this is Kelly Pratt reporting. : )

Pleh...

The SpRocket is having their annual United Way bake sale this morning and as someone who liked to help out with charity (when there is chocolate involved) I bought some chocolate chip cookies. I had every intention of saving them for after lunch, really, but I couldn't do it. I had cookies for breakfast and now I feel like I'm going to barf. Maybe next time I will just give them money and let them keep the cookies. :(

I can't believe I just said that!

There hasn't been an awful lot of stuff going on worth talking about lately. I know, you're shocked right? Well, even for my life, it's been remarkably uneventful. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that for a chick with a Rocky Road mindset, I am destined to live a fairly vanilla life. Sigh.

I have finally gotten the nerve to try and make an actual piece of clothing that I will wear. After that first incident with the shirt I destroyed, I have only been making purses, but I don't need any more purses! The pattern I got seems to be simple enough, and if I pay attention to what I'm doing I may be able to actually finish the dress. Hopefully I won't sew anything inside out this time! :) So we're going to see if this works this time. *fingers crossed*

Last night we went to dinner with Josh and Anthony. Afterwards we walked over to Books A Million and Josh abandoned me, leaving me with Steve and Anthony who were talking about data bases. Since I was pretty sure the staff wouldn't appreciate me jabbing my eyes out on their carpet, I had to wonder off and amuse myself. I ended up buying this book called "The Book of Bad Taste" which doesn't really describe the book that well. It's a trivia book about weird things. Probably things that will never come up in normal conversations, but by golly, if it does I'll be ready! I'll give you an example of something I read in one of the chapters: Apparently cannibals think that the fingers, toes, and the palms of the hands are the best tasting part of humans. Hmmmm, gotta wonder who took that survey, right?

Oy.

I am so embarrassed. Earlier today I had an slight wardrobe malfunction.

This morning when I got dressed for work, I pulled on a pair of khaki cargo pants that I wore to the movies Saturday night. They seemed a little loose, no biggie, but because the belt loops are kind of narrow and hard to deal with, I decided to forgo the belt. Although I would love to believe I have suddenly lost 5 pounds on some kind of magical French-fry diet, I realize that the pants must be a little stretched out from when I wore them before. Still, no biggie.

When I got to work, I realized that I kept having to pull them up constantly, but once again I wasn't worried because I would be in my office most of he day. One of the first things I had to do was take a bunch of posters that were mounted on plastic boards downstairs. They were kind of heavy, so I had to balance them on my head and hold on to them with both hands as I walked. I dropped the posters off and as I was walking to the elevator (I had to go to the Admin. offices for a meeting this morning) I realized that my pants had started to slide down again. I stopped to pull them up and couldn't find the top of my pants! I stopped and looked down, hoping my pants were indeed still there (and they were) but they had slid down well past the side of my underwear! Luckily, my shirt was long enough to keep me from giving the kids in the Camp cafeteria a peep show and I was able to fix them and run into the elevator. Some people worry about visible panty lines...I have to worry about visible panties!

*Shame*

Sigh.

I know this might not make sense to many of you, but have you ever thought about how much easier some friendships would be if you really didn't like those people you were friends with? Chew on that with me for a while.

Anyway. Yesterday Sara (a.k.a Scary Spice) sent me this link for a blog called "Knowledge for Thirst" which is a blog written by people who like to try different kinds of drinks and then rate them! This was perfect for me because, as you know, I like doing the same thing. I don't know if any of you care about stuff like that, but I thought it was hilarious. I like the way those guys write and some of their entries had me rolling on the floor. If you have some time to waste, I recommend checking it out. Thank you, Sara!

I was going to go to the gym last night, but I talked myself out of it again. You know, having a gym membership is all good and fine, but it doesn't help you a bit if you aren't actually going out there and working out! I need to be hypnotised so that I look forward to brutal, muscle bruising workouts. I'd totally do that if I could find a hypnotist that didn't make me act like a chicken! : )

Well, I need to run some mounted sketches over to the big man. I'll be back!

For centuries, phenomena in our heavens have frightened and intrigued the people of earth. We've taken the appearance of comets as signals of great destruction, the Aurora Borealis has been believed by some to give great destiny to a child conceived in it's light, and even a star lead the shepherds and magi to the Christ child. Even today, in this age of reason, we still look into the sky and marvel at the things we see there. Although we no longer worship the stars or use it's many moods as indicators of our future, we still retain a respect and awe for the things which fly through our galaxy that were not created by the human hand. Or so I thought. Sigh. Humans.

Okay, so I didn't post a weekend update yesterday as I usually do for one simple reason. My weekend was bleh. Not bad under any circumstances, but just bleh. I had taken my personal day on Friday hoping that Steve and I could maybe take a weekend trip or something, just to get out of town. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask Steve about it and found out that he had made plans he couldn't get out of! BLAST! So while we did get to spend a little time together, I mostly cleaned and sewed. I finished my bookbag for this coming year, and it's awesome! I can now see the top of my kitchen table, I no longer have giant, prehistoric, saber-toothed dust bunnies, and all of my 3 billion rolls of yarn that I have collected over the past year have been placed in a secure location. I was like Martha Stewart on speed! We did get to see a movie with Anthony Saturday night, which was fun. Sunday I knew that Steve didn't have plans, and we had made arrangements to not be expected anywhere else that day, but we still didn't do anything. However, there was always the possibility that we would run out of Knight Rider or A-Team reruns and do something, so kept my fingers crossed. It didn't work. Oh well. I did start a new book that Josh loaned me called "Pope Joan" which is about a woman who became Pope in the 9th century. It's pretty much considered fictional (or maybe not, no one can seem to agree) but it's still a very good book.

One thing I tried to do this weekend is learn how to make clothes for myself. That is the main reason that I want to learn to sew. However, it's kind of impossible to do because I have no way of fitting the pieces onto myself. I's need an adjustable taylor's form to do it, but I don't want to spend the great deal of money on something that I may not use that often. Those suckers are expensive! So I almost gave up on the whole sewing things (how many purses and bags does one person need) until I saw a home-made dress form on the internet. It looked fairly simple, so with Steve's help, I made one of my own. Actually, it's kind of ghetto, but if nothing else, it's funny. I got into one of Steve's old t-shirts and had him wrap my torso in duct tape. It actually worked pretty well, amazingly enough. My only complaint was that he accidentally duct taped the shirt to my underarms and we had to rip that off (ouch, by the way). When we was done wrapping, I looked like I was wearing a gladiator breast-plate. We took a picture, but it hasn't been uploaded yet. If I get brave, I'll let you see it. It's really funny! Then we cut the shirt up the back and I taped it back together and stuffed it with a bunch of my old newsprint sketches from drawing class. So YAY for the ghetto dress form. BOO, however, for the fact that now that I have a stuffed model of my torso...and wow, I didn't realize that I was shaped like that. Ick. I think I'm going to set it in front of the fridge to remind me not to overeat. *shudder* : )

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Josh is home from St. Louis and we went to dinner with him last night. We went to Surin of Thailand (excellent food) and you will be glad to know that I didn't pull any of the centerpieces off of the tables or knock over anything this time! Go me!

You know, I've realized lately that some of you may not know the people of whom I speak about on a regular basis. So to give you some faces to go with names, here is a picture of us from the night we helped Josh move into his new house.

The purpled out blobby thing is me. I figured that you guys already know me well enough, so you don't need to see what I look like again! I chose this particular picture because I wanted the one where Josh had crazy hair. He never leaves the house without making sure he looks 110% spiffy, so I'm letting the world know what he's really like! *evil grin*



Steve you probably already know, by name if not by site. That is my Star Wars loving, computer fixing husband. He's actually lost quite a bit of weight since this picture was taken. He also smiles occasionally, so don't be fooled by the seriousness of his pose.

Josh you've heard me talk about a lot. I met him about 6 or 7 years ago when we worked in Outpost In Space together. Great guy! He's the assistant principal at Providence "Stepford" Middle school and he's only 27. My constant reminder that I still haven't graduated college with my bachelors degree. :) Here we are driving our friend Paul to the Airport after his visit from France. We call this, the "Yearbook Shot." This picture was taken in 2001 and it wasn't until the other day that I realized we were "Pookie Dressed" in the same sweater.



If you happen to click over to Paul's site and can read French, could someone please tell me if he got married or not. I think it tells, but we all know how good I am with French.

Anthony is another very good friend of mine. He came into the SpRocket as the guy who was supposed to program laser shows, but when they canceled that he became Cheif Projectionist of the SpaceDome IMAX theater. He's very cool and I swear, he knows EVERYTHING. You cannot win a game of Trivial Persuit or Scrabble against him. Trust me.

Shannon is the lady responsible for my Spanish Accent. We used to work together in Daily Reservations and we shared a cubical. We got our work done, barely, but not without cracking each other up about 10 times an hour. If I need the truth, Chani will be the one I know I can hear it from! Also, we can spend hours making fun of things together. Good times. : ) She is also married to...

Greg, who is the Theater Manager at the SpaceDome. I think Greg is the most laid back person that I have ever known. He's a National Guardsman who travels to Thailand once a year to so something complicated and computer related. He is also the master of telling funny stories.

So that is the cast of characters I talk about so much. There are many other people whom I love dearly and I will explain to you all soon. I need to find pictures first, though.

Hope you're having a very Brady day!

You wanna hear something weird?

Last night I dreamed I got a really bad sunburn. When I got up this morning, my arms and back were bright red. It went away fairly quickly, though. Weirdness.

I got a Dream Burn!

You know, I realize just how low I am on the totem pole around here. I have no illusions about that at all. But it's never more apparent than when someone else brings up an idea I mentioned a year or more ago and suddenly the ones in charge think it's a great idea. Oh well, I'm not too worried about it. C'est la vie*. : )

Last night I made banana bread and it was FABULOUS. I realized that the bananas I bought last had become extrememly ripe and I couldn't make myself eat them as is. I followed the directions from the McAlister's website from when Elizabeth and Taylor made it. It turned out well and was only a little crispy around the edges. Mainly I left it in a little longer because I didn't have the right kind of pan and that's why. Once again, no fires and the alarm didn't go off once.

I'm firmly convinced that the whole "catching things on fire" thing was fully the fault of the old stove, Kennie II. No, I did not name my stove after my friend Kenny (unless that hurts his feelings and then of course I named it after him), but I named it after the refrigerator Kennie I (or Kennemore as the makers called them). The poor, sad, avacado green things. Although I kind of miss them because they were so cute, I'm really glad they are gone. It makes me feel much better about cooking when things aren't going up in flames. Probably makes Steve feel better about my cooking too!

*That could totally be spelled wrong.

ED STILL WEARS PRADA

Now this song is in my head!

I'm positvely giddy.

OK, not really, but I've always wanted to start out an entry by saying that. : ) I am, however, feeling fairly well this morning. I have my bowl of mayonaise-less Waldorf salad and a jug of water the size of Steve's head. Not too bad at all.

Last night I helped mow the lawn, once again looking wonderfully tacky! I think I need to start having a picture made every time I do this. Just for posterity, you understand. We had to wait until dusk for it to be cool enough to go out there. This is the kind of hot that makes me want to move to Canada. This heat/humidity is soul zapping, seriously. It makes me feel stupid and sluggish and I just want go home and lie down next to a vent and not move until dark. I used to do that when I was little. I'd lie down on the floor next to a vent and throw a sheet over me. When the vent kicked on, it would inflate the sheet like a tent and be nice and cold in there. Just about the time I would get too cold, it would kick off and the tent would collapse over me and then I'd get warm again. I'm really surprised I didn't die of hypothermia. I wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer as a child.

While in California last year it was 105 degrees and I was not in the least troubled by it. I spent literal hours wandering around Bodie taking pictures and never even sweated. Of course, by the time I got back into the car I was so dehydrated that I couldn't speak, but it was worth it.

Anyways, I mowed the lawn and settled into Lawnmower Zen. I have such wonderful thoughts while mowing, but I can never remember them once I'm done. Maybe if the people in the middle east had more lawns to mow, they would feel better about things and stop bombing everyone. Eh, just a theory.

Uh oh...UPDATE on Financial Aid

It's a good thing I called this morning! After being told that my financial aid was all happy-fun-fine, I got called back by the FA office. It seems as if my financial aid was NOT alright and I had NOT been awarded anything for the upcoming semester! There was a glitch in the system that made the spring semester information appear in the fall semester data boxes.

Never fear, though, because they fixed it and now my financial aid is back on track. All I had to do was accept the loan. WHEW, again!

It wasn't just me, either. There is no telling how many people might not have had their tuition paid if they hadn't found that glitch! I haven't yet seen an angry mob, but I'm pretty sure that would have caused one!

WHEW!

I just got off of the phone with the Financial Aid departent at UAH. I hadn't received anything from the school, and I had been worried that my application had either not gone through or I had been rejected for this coming year. I wanted to check my status. Even though I have faithfully checked both the FASFA and UAH websites since May, they told me nothing. In fact, the UAH website said that no information existed for me. So I called this morning and found out that everything was fine and that I had been sent a letter about it. I never received the letter, so they will be sending me a new one. That takes a huge load off of my mind. How much would it suck to get to my final (yay!) year and not be able to go because I couldn't pay tuition? I'd have to commit hari-kari I think.

Since I already kind of updated my Saturday early Sunday morning, I will only be doing a SUNDAY UPDATE! Woooooooo!

Sunday was about as usual as a Sunday can be, I suppose. I did have one minor issue at church that was embarrassing, but I got it taken care of. : ) I checked the weather before I got dressed that morning and realized that it was going to be too hot to wear just about everything I owned. Not long ago I had bought a sundress, but as it was both strapless and too long on me (but still so cute) I had to do some minor surgery on it before I felt it was appropriate to wear to church. Now, I'm not like circus freak short or anything, but this dress had to be shortened 5 inches for me to wear it. FIVE inches. It was supposed to come to your knees, but it hung somewhere in the area of my calves giving me the unflattering appearance of "cancles". So I shortened it and took the material left over and made straps for the dress because...well...I might have to reach for something or lean over and didn't want to give the folks a free show. OK, so anyways, I wore my dress and walked out of the house feeling pretty cute.

As I got out of the car, I could literally hear the skin on my legs scream for mercy when the sun hit them. I am SO pale! No worries, though, because I was looking cute! I head down to the office and do my secretary thing and before I go up into the service, I take a look in the mirror to make sure that my skirt wasn't tucked into my belt or anything and I realized that the whole back of my bra was showing. I'm not just talking about the straps...I mean, the WHOLE back! I never even thought to look at it while I was at home! I am really not into the whole "Hey! Look at my underwear!" thing. It just seems so trashy and I was really hoping to avoid looking trashy at church. Call me old fashioned. So with several safety pins and self-determination, I became "FASHION McGYVER!" Luckily everything stayed in place until I got home, but it was both uncomfortable and stabby until I was able to change clothes. So if you saw me walking around like I had a book on my head and rods in my arms, that is why. : )

Steve had to run the projection system yesterday and he did a lovely job. He only messed up a couple of times, but it wasn't totally his fault. We went to my parent's house for lunch, and then picked up some books from Steve's dad's house. Miss Rhonda had a LOT of books. She loved to read as much as I do. Mr. Lee said that I should come and get the ones I wanted because he doesn't care to read very much and I think he would be getting rid of them eventually. So I went and almost cleaned the place out. I left a lot of them, but I think I ended up with the majority. It felt kind of perverse going through her things like that, but I didn't want her books to be scattered to the winds. Next up...building the library wing onto the house. :)

I can't sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. It's almost 1:30 am and I'm wired. I don't know what it is because I haven't had caffine since about 5:00 or maybe even earlier than that. I figured that since I was awake, I'd make a post. Whee.

I have been both artsy AND craftsy today! Big shock, I know. I just finished learning how to make a different kind of bag and that's what I've been doing for the past 4 or so hours. I had to pull it apart twice, but I finally got it looking like it's supposed to! Of course, it's a little rougher than I had hoped it would turn out, but I'll just make myself believe that all of the flaws give it character. Just like me! : )

I made scones this morning from some strange and ancient cookbook I found in a closet when I moved in and Steve didn't like them. I liked them fine, but I'm beginning to think that "Scone" is just a fancy word for biscuit. Hey, I can't complain too much. I actually baked something that didn't catch on fire, so that's a point for me! I still have plenty if anyone wants one.

Today I read "The Omen" which was apparently a novel before it was a movie. The book wasn't that scary, other than the whole anti-christ thing, but it was pretty good. I saw the book on sale at Barnes & Noble and bought it on a whim. Of course, now I have this book with the picture of the creepy kid from the movie on the cover sitting next to the couch. I think I'm going to have to put it in the freezer.

I didn't really do much of anything of interest today, but if I can't post the boring aspects of my life here in an attempt to make them interesting, I'd probably go insane and TAKE YOU ALL WITH ME! Mwahahahahahahahhhahahahahahaha!

Okay, on that note, I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'm getting that sort of goofy, slumber-party feeling. You know, where everything starts to be funny and you end up in the kitchen eating pizza rolls in an attempt to get some energy. We don't even have pizza rolls!

Seacrest Out. (gah, I can't stand that guy!)

Sigh.

I'm a little blue. Not the I-just-watched-The-Notebook-and-want-to-kill-myself navy blue, but just a delicate shade of Tiffany's box blue that is only noticable in certain light. I'm not even sure why, really. I think it's because I worry about how I come across to people, sometimes. I always worry that I've said the wrong thing or been annoying or something. I always seem to ramble and say odd things or say things that are weird when I don't mean to. I know, I know, I worry too much. I would just hate for someone to just "Be Nice" to me and then complain about me after I'm gone. Oh well, I'm being the only way I know how to be, I guess. If they don't like me...they can bite my left big toe!

I've been busy all morning, which is a change from the way things have been for the past few days. The SpRocket is having a big ho-down for the geezers who designed and built the Saturn V tomorrow and I've had a helluva time trying to get the correct information for some of the stuff I've had to do. I also had to re-do 12 signs I finished last week because I wasn't given a complete list of sponsors for this event when the signs were requested. Sometimes I hate having to do signs for food service. There are a thousand people who have to OK something before it goes into print, but about 95% of the time someone didn't get the memo about it before it's done and I end up having to re-do it. Even making a proof doesn't work because not everyone sees it! Arrrrgh (not the pirate arrgh this time!).

I also had to fix the sign at the "Space Monkey" exhibit. That set up creeps me the heck out! For a long time I thought that the monkey inside the little seat was a real stuffed monkey. I found out that it was just a dummy, but yick... Something about it's face makes me feel weird. I also noticed that the stand for the sign was loose, so I pushed it to fit it back into place and ended up pushing it too hard and slamming it into the nose cone! I do not want to be the one who broke the JUPITER nose cone that took the monkeys into space. It might have survived re-entry, but who knows if it will survive me! : ) Luckily I saw no damage and I left quite quickly. If anyone asks, I was nowhere near it!

Hazards of My Job

Yesterday morning while taking a bath I was washing my face and my hand brushed against something behind my ear that was not supposed to be there. Being as bug phobic as I am, of course the first thing I thought was TICK! I don't know why that was the first thought to come about because I would have had to been outside for more than the few seconds it takes me to walk from the car to the house and vice-versa. I pulled the thing off, fully expecting to see a bloated, wriggling creature and folks, I don't think my heart could have stood it. I would have died right then and there. However, it wasn't a tick...or anything else alive for that matter. It was a trademark sticker that I had been cutting out on Lao Che the day before. I must've brushed my hair aside and somehow transferred it from my hand to my ear. I had been wearing a trademark sticker on my head for almost 18 hours! How embarrassing.

MY TWO NEW WORK BUDDIES!

Last night, Greg and Anthony were talking about how they needed to get rid of some of the stuff in the back room of the SpaceDome. Since they showed Episode II a couple of years ago and had a big, honkin' to-do when it opened up, they had some cardboard standees left over. I told them I'd liberate a couple of them to help out.

Behold. My Jedi Office Mates.





Obi Wan has already scared me to death because from the hallway he looks like a real person standing behind my desk. Mace is guarding the Napoleon Dynamite poster. : )

We all know how much I love ice cream, right? Could I possibly justify paying this much for ice cream?

I'm beginning to think I can!

Arrrrrrrrrgh!

No, that wasn't a scream of aggravation. I was being a pirate! Last night Steve, Anthony, Shannon, Greg and I went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie! Normally I don't care much for the movies that are marketed under the actual "Disney" name, but because I loved the last movie I knew that I wanted very much to see this one. It was probably not as good as the last one, simply because you didn't have the pleasure of meeting the characters for the first time, but otherwise it was a wonderful movie. Lots of action, lots of adventure, buckles were swashed, timbers were shivered, and Johnny Depp was WORKING the pirate eyeliner! It's no secret that I harbor a warm fuzzy for pretty much any incarnation of Johnny Depp, but oy! I don't know what it is about the pirate that I like so much. It's not a movie that makes you think, so don't go in there expecting Citizen Cane or anything, but it's very fun.

My only complaint about the whole experience wasn't really about the movie itself. There is one very off color joke made in the whole movie that is so subtle that you probably wouldn't notice it unless your mind had a way of falling into the gutter rather quickly. Only two people in the whole theater got it and laughed. I was one of them. *ashamed* Even Anthony, who has a very similar sense of humor to my own, didn't catch it. It made me feel even worse that I had to explain it to them all later! Oy.

Anyways, the movie was fun, if a little enigmatic towards the end (being the second movie in a trilogy that is to be expected, though), and I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed the first movie. It's a little scarier than the first, so I wouldn't recommend it for children who might have nightmares. Davy Jones (not the Monkee) and his crew are singularly grotesque - but from a designer's standpoint excellently created. I give it one thumb and one peg-leg up!

Had dinner last night with my dear friend, Kenny. As usual, we met at the "We Swear We're Not Racist" Cracker Barrel down in Cullman.

I got there a few minutes early and took the opportunity to visit the ladies room. When I was washing my hands, this lady was at the sink frantically brushing off her clothes and straightening her hair. She had the look of someone who was on a first date and wanted to make sure she looked good. This didn't turn out to be the case! As I was drying my hands, she turned to me and said "I don't mean to gross you out or anything..."

***OK, let's pause right there for a second to contemplate that statement. This is usually the thing that I least want to have a complete stranger in a public restroom say to me. I'm sure that's probably true for most of you as well. I mean, it's not a plesant thing to hear from even your dearest friends, but you can stand it because you love them and want to help them out if you can. You might also kind of know what to expect if you hear it from a friend. A stranger, not so much.***

"I don't want to gross you out or anything, but do I have throw-up in my hair?" I was a bit non-plussed. I was also torn between wanting to be helpful and NOT wanting to see if she actually did have vomit in her hair. I took the helpful route because she looked so pitiful. She did not have vomit in her hair (thank God) and I told her so. This small act of kindness on my part caused her to launch into the whole story as to what led up to her having to ask that question. I don't have any idea how long I stood there listening to her talk about her digestive disturbance, but I really, really, really wanted to leave. She was worried that she was going to have to explain to her friends where she went (which is obviously more embarassing than telling Random-Lady-In-The-Bathroom) and why she had wet spots on her clothes (ew). A word of advice...don't get the grilled chicken tenders from that Cracker Barrel! I told her to go into the store and buy the countriest Cracker Barrel shirt she could find and tell them she just HAD to have it. That made her laugh and then she apologized for having to gross me out. I just waved my hand and told her not to worry about it and then I walked out before she could feel comfortable enough to share any stories she might have had about her last visit to the OB/GYN.

Kenny was already out there on the porch by the time I came out, so as usual we sat and talked a bit. I had already solved the "where are we going to eat" problem before I got there, so that was out of the way. I knew he hadn't seen Lois, so we went to my car and decided to drive around a bit before we went to dinner. I let him drive, because let's face it, I enjoy handsome men driving me around in convertables! I can't help it. I even carpooled with Steve this morning so he could do it. Don't judge me! Anyways, I definately feel that I know Cullman a little better than I did before. I also realized how much I love driving through little towns like that and looking at the old businesses and the faded signs painted on the bricks. As I told him, I wish I could go back in time and see what places like that looked like when they were new! I don't think I'd ever want to live in Cullman, but it is a charming little place to visit.

As we had finally gotten hungry, we went to a place recommended by a couple at my church. It was called "All Steak" which was totally false because they had lots of other things on the menu! It was on the 4th floor of a bank building and it was a nice place. I had done some research on it before I met him that evening because the last time a friend and I went to a place that I had just heard about, we ended up in a redneck biker bar where they thought we were prostitutes. *That's a story for another day.* The review of it said that it was a place where the elite (or elite-ish, anyway) of Cullman come to discuss politics and football! Kenny had it pegged right away and said almost that exact thing. We were sat in a big, and almost empty, dining room. Mondays must not be very busy days for anything in Cullman. There were five occupied tables and only one server. I'd like to say she was prompt and attentive, but I'm pretty sure that she forgot we were there at times. Other than the absent waitress, I had a great time. The food and company were good and I leared several things I didn't know! Among other things, I've learned that if I'm ever a waitress at a resturaunt where Kenny dines, I'm going to need to develop a special X-Man power of knowing when his glass is empty. A battle of wits is sure to follow if his ice rattles. There is apparently a waiter named Ward that I'm going to have to have as my Shaolin Master if I want to learn that. I've learned that it is possible for a Freudian slip to make you want to die right on the spot. I also learned that this resturaunt probably has the only non-chocolate dessert that can render me a quivering puddle of goo. Orange rolls from the kitchen of heaven its self. You don't order them, but they bring them to you after you're done with your meal. I've already made plans with Josh and Steve to go back for more. After we hear the Monks chant, of course.

After dinner we drove back to the CB and talked for a few minutes before leaving. All in all, it was a lovely way to spend an evening!

When I got home, Steve had both finale episodes of "Dr. Who" downloaded and we watched them. Daleks AND Cybermen...it was almost too much to deal with. They were the last episodes with Billie Piper in them, which was sad because I liked her alot as the companion. The ending kind of sucked, but I'm still looking forward to the next season. It won't come out until next year, though. Gah! I love watching the new Dr. Who with Steve! I don't care much for the old ones, but since he knows so much about the whole story line, he can answer questions for me. Very awesome.

So my Monday was wonderful. It's days like this that make me realize how overly blessed I am! :)

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I talked not long ago about a load of laundry that I had lost, remember? Well I found it! Woo-Hoo! It was on the kitchen table under some other random things! The inconvenience of having to rewash it was completely overshadowed by the joy of finding it!

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I talked not long ago about a load of laundry that I had lost, remember? Well I found it! Woo-Hoo! It was on the kitchen table under some other random things! The inconvenience of having to rewash it was completely overshadowed by the joy of finding it!

There is no good reason for me to have posted these pictures except for the fact that I had meant to, once again, post my pictures of the cookout we had on the 4th and I forgot to do it again. These pictures were taken on my last trip to Georgia! Yay for nature!

I'm not going to do a full blown WEEKEND UPDATE this time simply because I don't think I did anything interesting. However, never fear, I will once again give you the Readers Digest Condensed Version of my weekend!

Friday I made myself a new badge lanyard so that I don't have to keep coming up with creative ways of clipping my badge to my shirt. I hate having my badge on my collar. Of course, it doesn't tend to get stuck within my signs that way, but where is the fun in that? My new lanyard is red and silver...very spiffy! I also made some new earrings. I forgot that I had so many different kinds of beads and wires and such. When I get into a new hobby, I tend to stock up on more supplies than I'll ever need. I certainly have more beads than I'll probably ever use. I decided that I would find a use for all seven billion of those beads eventually! Now I have 4 new pairs of earrings that I need to find time to wear. I'm going to have to get a few more peircings before the beads are totally gone. : )

Saturday Steve and I spent the morning doing errands and such. He left to hand out at the SpaceDome with Anthony (I respectfully declined to join them) and I stayed at home to make purses! I'm finally getting the hang of sewing, at least the simpler aspects of it, and I found a pattern for a bag online that wasn't too complicated. I made two of them before I got the hang of it. I gave those to my mom! : ) My mom is the kind of person who has always hung my artwork on the fridge, so bless her, I still give her stuff to hang around. I'm pretty sure she wishes I had turned out to be a micro-biologist! At least anything I gave her would be small. I also have been learning to crochet lace, but that hurts my eyes and my hands too much to get very involved in. Basically it's using a hook about the same size as the end of a toothpick to crochet with sewing thread. It's beautiful (or at least it's supposed to be) when it's finished, but it's almost not worth the trouble!

Sunday Steve was feeling bad, so I went to church and to my parent's house alone. I came back to find Steve still sick. I became alarmed when I realized he had been asleep the whole time I had been gone. I made him get up and sit in the livingroom with me in case he passed out or died. At least I would know if I needed to call 911 if he fell out of his chair and not just think he was asleep in bed! He must have felt pretty rotten because he didn't complain when I wanted to watch a documentary on KV-63 (which I'm totally involved in right now!). I didn't think he cared about mummies, but we both enjoyed watching it. Gah, I wish I was an Egyptolgist! Anyways, he ended up feeling better as the evening wore on, so I didn't have to call an ambulance after all. Yay!

I did have one slight adventure on Saturday night while Steve was gone. I decided that I would go out back to take the dogs some treats and play with the dogs for a few minutes. We don't usually do that because they forget their manners when we are outside and they feel that 65 and 70 pounds of dog isn't too much to pounce onto an unsuspecting person. Also, Bear won't let us cut his nails, so he's got some vicious claws! Anyways, I stepped outside and in my haste to keep the dogs out of the garage, I shut the door behind me...forgetting it locks automatically. So I locked myself out of the house, the dogs are jumping on me, and I can't even get to a phone to call Steve so that he can come and rescue me! So I ended up having to scale the fence, which was hard because stupid me wore flip-flops with 2 inch bottoms outside instead of thinner shoes. Those shoes are not good for wedging my feet into chain link! I finally got over and got the spare key and let myself back in. No harm, no foul! : )

That is all.

You know, I'm curious.

I just finished reading an article on CNN.com about three people who were arrested for trying to sell Coke secrets to Pepsi. It got me thinking about how Coke has a secret formula (I think, anyway) and how it has been protected all of these years.

I don't know how accurate the crime shows like CSI are, but they always show this machine that can correctly identify just about any susbstance that is entered into it. I know the machine is real because I saw one at work on a documentary about forensics, but can it identify anything?

That being said...couldn't just anyone with access to one of these machines put some coke in there and find out what it's made of? If you know, please tell me. It's going to bother me otherwise.

That is all.

I had every intention of a very photo-heavy post about the 4th. I actually had my camera and actually got pictures of everyone doing thier holiday thing! However, my camera (dear little Kodak...how I love thee) decided that it was not going to jive with my work Macintosh, so the pictures were loaded at home and I never got around to posting from the Co-Pilot chair in my home office. So, in lieu of photos, you get descriptions. Woo-Hoo!

I worked both Monday and Tuesday. It was by choice, so I wasn't cursing anyone's name for having to be here. I'm the only person in the Marketing department who is not considered full time, so I don't get either vacation or sick leave to take at my leisure. So if I take the day off - they take the pay off. I don't mention this to be bitter, I mention it to explain why I would choose to work instead of play! Anyway, since I have pretty much caught up with all of my work, I was able to take it easy while I was here. I had a few little things to take care of, but I pretty much puttered around, learned some new crochet stitches, and listened to audio books. Too bad every day at work can't be like those! : ) After work, Steve picked me up and we headed out to Josh's house.

*Picture of Josh's house number "218"*
Although Josh lives in one of those neighborhoods where you have a mixture of $500,000 homes all the way down to more modest garden homes, he still refers to his end of the suburb as "The Hood". Pretty much that means his house cost around $150,000 or so. He's also the only one of us who lives far enough in the country to where fireworks are not illegal. He had invited us over for a barbeque (as he calls it...silly yankee) *picture of my foot with the grill* and so we all sat about while Greg and Shannon *picture of them cooking* grilled Bubba Burgers. I thought we might have lost Greg in an unfortunate lighter fluid accident at one point. The coals weren't catching very well, so he walked out and grabbed the bottle of lighter fluid. He proceeded to squirt a hefty amount onto the coals with no luck. Shannon and I turned to talk to one another and we hear "WHUMP!" and a sick orange glow covers us both. I had the feeling we would look around and find nothing more than a vaguely Greg-shaped pillar of ash, but he managed to escape from the fireball with only a few less eyebrows!

After the food was the fireworks! I absolutely LOVE watching fireworks! I prefer the big fancy professional ones, but the ones that the guys were shooting off were entertaining! I tried to take some pictures of them, but even on my fastest setting, all I got were some pictures of black sky. I used the video setting for most of the evening, so I got some really great footage of little sparks of light and then people running away from them. I had just turned off the camera when I heard someone yell a curse word. I looked up and one of the big flowering ones had fallen over. Steve, Greg and Anthony had made it safely back to the lanai, but Josh was still out there with the firework. All I remember from that was sort of a slow motion bloom of sparks illuminating Josh as he ran away from it. You know those movies where Arnold Swhatsyoumacallit runs away from a big explosion in slow motion and everything, including the sound is slowed way down? Nooooooooooooooooooooo... That's what happened. We were all laughing so hard by the time he got to us, we couldn't do anything else for a long time. Poor Josh! Luckily he was unscathed. When the finale came around, I got some pretty good footage, but a bug picked that time to fly directly down the front of my shirt, so after a couple of seconds of fireworks, you hear me squeak and the camera just goes all over the place from there.

Once we cleaned up, we all trooped inside to watch TV. It was a fun evening! I'll have to figure out how to post video for you to get to see some of what we did.

Now it's time for my WEEKEND UPDATE!

Try and control your bladder... ;)

I didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped this weekend, but I probably would have if I had tried a littler harder!

Friday I got home from work knowing I'd have a few blank hours alone. I decided that I would mow the yard so that it wouldn't have to be done on Saturday. Boy, I was sexy! I pretty much grabbed the first things I could get my hands on to wear while I was out there and I ended up wearing a blue tube top (yes, I own one - stop gagging), a khaki skort that I had originally thought was a pair of shorts (and decided to keep on wearing since I didn't want to waste time searching for the actual shorts) and my pink and gray sneakers with white socks. I'm telling you, there should be a fashion magazine dedicated to what we wear when doing yard work! Anyways, I weed-whacked and I mowed with the riding mower. Except for that evil strip of grass right in front of our house that I can never seem to tame, the yard looks so much nicer than it did! I did accidentally hit a baby bunny with my weed trimmer, but it didn't hurt it. That stupid bunny kept hiding in the grass along my trimming path, so it kept having to run away from me. It finally ended up climbing up the stairs and jumping off of the porch to get away from me. I hope it's not too badly hurt! The rest of the evening was spent playing the Sims 2, which I now have the "Open 4 Business" expansion pack for. I really, really suck at owning an imaginary business! None of the sims I play can ever make any money and people keep getting into fights with each other in the check out lanes. Oh well, it's fun to try anyway. : )

Saturday I had hazy plans to clean and do laundry, per my usual. I did do laundry, but I boycotted cleaning and made bread instead! I found a recipe on the internet that sounded promising and I used the bread machine to make the dough. The only problem I really had was that the directions had the wrong oven temperature written in, so instead of 220 degrees for 20 minutes, I ended up baking it for 220 degrees for an hour and 300 degrees for 10 minutes. The bread didn't burn, believe it or not, but it was really dense. Sigh...Sara Lee I aint!

I also had to get groceries that afternoon. As I was checking out, the cashier got on my ever-loving nerves. I'm sure if I were seventeen, he would have been charming. I also know that he wasn't trying to be annoying, but he apparently hasn't learned when enough talking is just enough talking. He picked up something that had French writing on it and read it out loud. I responded with one of the only French words I know, "Oui." I also know the requisite French curse words, but it was neither the time nor the place to use them. I realized at that moment that if he knew French, he would take that one word and make it the basis of an assumption that I am both fluent in French and want to talk to him in French. Josh does this often...I love him dearly, but it's one of the few things he does that makes me want to sew him into a burlap sack and beat him to death with a rake. I tried to cut him off before he started in on me by telling him I didn't know anymore French, but he was not deterred. He began rattling off something in French. I had to tell him - AGAIN - that I didn't know French. Then he asked, in Spanish, if I knew Spanish. I can understand Spanish a little, I can even respond to that question in Spanish, but that's about it. At this point I wanted to tell this cashier, in English, just where he and the horse he rode in on, could speak their different languages, but I was nice. I just smiled and nodded as he kept on talking about his grandfather who spoke fluent Spanish and about how he's reading Harry Potter in Spanish. It was fascinating, really..., but I wanted to leave. He kept on talking as he handed me the receipt, and I even had to stand there a second as I'm wheeling the cart away so that he can finish telling me about Harry Potter. I finally just said, "You know, you should read Harry Potter in Latin!" Thinking maybe I had finally gotten to a language he DIDN'T know and stop the conversation, but he replied, "Nah, I've had some bad expirences with Latin," (and what that could mean, I have no idea) and besides, all the Latins are dead now!" At that point, he realized what he said, and I walked away while he was trying to explain himself. There are times I wish my mother had not raised me to be so polite to strangers. Maybe I could have thrown a nectarine at him and gotten away sooner.

Saturday night I went to Josh's house for dinner. We watched "Hairspray", we walked through his neighborhood, and we talked about interior design. A good time was had by all. ;)

Sunday was church, of course, with lunch with my family. Papa has bought some goats and one of them had just had a baby. We went down to see it and it was so sweet! It was about the size of a house cat and it was really tame. We petted it and talked to it. A regular petting zoo! Then it was back to church at night and dinner with Grandma and Mr. Lee afterwards.

That is about it!

Kelly will have to write:

I will not be charged with conspiracy to overthrow the monarchy again

'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com