What Now

*Bangs Head On Desk*

You know, I have a feeling that my family has gone insane. OK, well, maybe not "insane," but it is my professional opinion that I may be the last rationally thinking woman in my immediate family and I can't do anything to change it without causing more problems. I seem to be the only person who can be honest and open about my concerns. That probably seems very abrasive to my very southern family, I know, but I just don't happen to believe that holding things in is healthy. I'm not saying I think they should fight all the time and hate one another, but I do believe that a great deal of harm can be avoided if people are just honest with one another, even if it means that they have to disagree about things.

Although I know that one cannot run away from their problems, and that even if you choose to ignore the things you don't want to have to deal with - the same problems are going to confront you sooner or later, right? However, even knowing that, here is what I wish:

I wish I could find a friend who has nothing to do with my family, who lives far away from here - preferably in the Pacific NW, which might be far enough - and who wouldn't ask me any questions. I want to move to their house and hide in their basement until my mother and sister are honest with one another and can talk about what is going on without trying so damn hard not to hurt each other's feelings.

I know how immature and silly this sounds, but I promise I'm not being the least bit emo about this. I honestly wish I could get away from my family. I'm not enough of a drama queen to want to be a part of all of this. I don't think I'm equipped to know how to deal with it.

I need a hug.