What Now

...and now, another version of WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE!

I always like to check my blog tracker and see what sorts of things bring readers to my happy little place. I can recognize a few of you, whom I know come here out of a deep and abiding affection for me. I can also recognize a few of you as people who tolerate me because you have to, and you probably are here because you get bored at work! Some of you have me book-marked, but the fun stuff is the people who get here by pure chance.

For your entertainment, here are a few examples.

1) "i had highlights professionally done can i dye over them"

Yes, my dear. Dye over them! However, I would think that if you had them professionally done, you should probably have them professionally covered. This just avoids any strange colors appearing out of nowhere. However, if you have a temperamental, gay hairdresser that will be offended by your lack of joy over his work...do it yourself. Don't anger the queen.

2) "cursed tights"

Hmmmmmmm. I thought I was the only one. Weird. I hear if an old priest and a young priest wear them for an hour or so, the curse is lifted. Peace be with you.

3) "westeriavine"

OK, I spelled it wrong too. Leave me alone.

4) "what is the black sludge in the coolant tank in my car"

I dunno. Maybe you should talk to the old priest and the young priest when they are done wearing the tights.

5) "mikakuto juntsuyu"

Bless you. I hear Sudafed takes care of that. Actually, these are the delicious candies you have to order from Japan because out of all of the stuff we get from Japan, they haven't realized that this should be imported too. Way to drop the ball there, Japan.

6) "scrubbing my feet" ticklish

I realize that I have more than my fair share of foot talk on my blog, but you feet fetishists really need to go away. Seriously.

7) "I have ants in my bathroom"

Me too! That's such a neat coincidence! We should have coffee or something!

8) "poem i met a man who wasn't there meaning"

I've actually been getting a lot of hits because of my mention of the poem about the man that wasn't there. I suppose I'm not the only person who gets creeped out by it! However, this soul wants to understand its meaning. I don't know if I can help, but here goes: The guy was alone on the stairs. He has an imaginary friend that he doesn't get along with. The imaginary friend likes to stand on the stairs that Mr. Means is trying to climb and block his way. Mr. Means wishes he would go away. However, the refusal of Mr. Means to seek professional psychiatric help and ultimately anti-hallucinatory drugs, means that all he can do is wish for his desired end rather than take appropriate steps to banish him in the most direct way. Ergo, Mr. Means is a crazy, crazy man.

That's all for now!